#((When i'm on my binges all I do is (maybe) eat sleep and then do whatever i'm obsessing over which in this case is reading))

[queenharumiura]

Current state of Neo

Me: I have nochillitis, maybe I'll impose a 25 chapter limit per day. That'll help me not get too consumed. Three days later, my muses are shaking me after i've been binging 75+ chapters in one sitting: oh- shit. me: So anyways... what happens next? 8D

[hughjackmansbicep]

The Seamstress

Contains: Logan Howlett X F!Reader

Summary: Youre a seamstress and he seems to have an endless supply of holey clothes....

Wordcount: 1.2k

Warnings: None :D

a/n: haiiiiii ive always loved this trope in fics !!! tehe!! srry for not writing much recently i got fired from my job LOL anywayssss... i was listening to the smiths writing this unrelated but related.

Most days bled together, the same mundane routine playing out in front of you each day. Wake up, go to work, go home, eat takeout, and pass out to some soap opera. Currently, the highlight of your life was finding out what was going to happen next on The Days of Our Lives. You were a seamstress in the middle of Manhattan; you owned a small shop off 64th, and although you were living out your dream, nothing excited you anymore. Every task felt exhausting; you couldn't even find passion in sewing anymore. That was until he stumbled into your shop.

“Hi, yeah, I was wondering if you'd be able to sew this up for me.” He grumbled, holding up what appeared to be some yellow and blue jumpsuit. You'd almost forgotten to respond, completely captivated by his sheer beauty. His gorgeous face, chiseled body, kitty-like hair, and you can't forget the unusual yet totally working for him mutton chops. “U-um, ahem, yeah, I totally could.” You manage to choke out, reaching for the clothing item. “How long do you reckon it'll take?” You examine the clothing carefully; it's decorated with rips and holes everywhere. He's lucky if I can get this finished by the end of the week, “Tomorrow.” Your mouth moves quicker than your brain can. “Cool, I'll come by at 10? Is that alright?” He asks, slowly backing out of the shop, his eyes never leaving you. ‘10am? I can't begin to do that either; I mean, I wouldn't get to sleep tonight’. “Yep! See you at 10!” Cure that mouth of yours; you give him a smile and an awkward wave as he makes his way out the door.

You blow your breath out as if you'd been holding it the entire time, sinking down into your chair. You silently cursed at yourself for agreeing to such a stupid timeframe, but this meant you could binge Days of Our Lives tonight, so maybe it wasn't half bad.

The rest of the day went just as you expected. A couple hems, a few cinches—nothing out of the ordinary apart from the comic book cosplay you agreed to revive back to life. It was currently 3 o’clock in the morning; you'd been sitting there sewing the garment for 7 hours. Honestly, you'd been making great time; you were so close to finishing, maybe 20 stitches left total. Somewhere between the last stitch and a doctor getting slapped, you'd passed out on your living room floor.

You'd awoken to the feeling of your feline licking your cheek, causing you to immediately shoot up off the floor. Your eyes frantically searching for a clock, the power Must’ve gone out sometime around 5 in the morning because that's all you saw flashing back at you on the stove. In a frenzy, you started throwing random clothes on, praying they'd match, shoving the costume in a garment bag, and running out the door. Thats when you finally looked down at your phone, seeing the time read 10:03, “God damnit.” You whined under your breath. Your shop was only a couple blocks away, but that was still a 15-minute walk, so you sprinted. You probably looked like a complete lunatic, but you couldn't care less right now. The incredibly hot customer probably waiting outside your doors was the utmost important thing on your mind.

Dripping in sweat and hyperventilating as you turned the corner to where your shop was, you saw him just as you thought you would. Leaning up against the door, one arm crossed over his torso as he took a drag from his cigar with his other. God, he looked heavenly, and you... Well, maybe not your best day, but definitely not your worst. “Hey, sorry I'm late.” You breathed out, hands resting on your knees as you caught your breath. “But I've got your thingy.” You hold the garment bag up; he just furrows his eyebrows at you, cocking his head to the side. His silence makes you feel more embarrassed than you already do. You get up to unlock your doors, ushering him to follow you inside.

You check him out at the register; the only words being exchanged were the cost of the repairs and where he can tap his card. He walked out with a smile and a nod, a soft ‘Thanks’ escaping his lips before the door shut. You throw your head in your hands, feeling shame wash over you. You were hoping and praying he was going to leave his number on the receipt, but obviously he did not. I mean, why would you have had him waiting and showed up looking like a complete mess? Not very good looks. You simply had to chop it up as a loss and return back to the mundaneness of your life.

The very next morning, though, he was here again, this time holding an old brown jacket. He'd said there was a small hole in the pocket he wanted fixed. This time it only took you all 20 minutes. You asked him to wait upfront as you brought the jacket to the back to repair it. When you returned, you checked him out the same as before, and he left exactly the same as before. This became an everyday routine for the two of you. Every day he'd walk in with some worn-out article of clothing asking you to stitch it up; you always obliged, even if the clothes looked and smelled like they came from 1987. You always did wonder how this guy had so many ripped-up clothes just lying around, and why wouldn't he just bring them in all at once?

This charade had been going on for 2 weeks now when you finally decided to break from your usual script of ‘thank you, come again’. “Why is everything you own torn apart? Is everything okay back home?” You asked as he slipped his card into the machine. You could see the heat rising to his cheeks as he tried to hide a smirk creeping its way on his face. “You want me to be honest with you?” He looked up at you, pursing his lips together in a thin line. You nodded your head, waiting for him to continue, “I honestly thought you were gorgeous when I first walked into your shop.” Now your cheeks started burning red as your eyes went wide. “So every day since then I head into Goodwill and find anything I can with a hole in it so I can find an excuse to come see you.” This was the first time you'd ever seen this man avoid eye contact with you. You couldn't find your words as your throat had gone dry. He was into you??? And here you were this whole time thinking you ruined your shot (and that he was homeless, but you weren't going to tell him that). 

"Well, say something.” He exasperated, snapping you out of your daze. “I honestly don't know what to say; I’m shocked. I get off at 6 if y’know... You wanted to grab something to eat?” You offer awkwardly, smiling through the pain of how anxious you sounded. He looks up to you finally meeting your gaze, a soft smile painted on his lips. “Ill be here to pick you up at 6 doll.” He grabs your hand, planting a gentle kiss on your knuckle. He walked out the door, leaving you in utter shock and denial for the rest of your shift.

hi ps u can always request me shtuff to write! :3

[xoxo-author]

Partners in Crime

Authors note: I know SVU doesn't get a lot of love here on Tumblr but I've been binge-watching and love Valasco so here we are!

Pairing: Joe Valasco x Reader (Fem)

Warnings: My god-awful writing, mentions of violence

"You're awake! How are you feeling?"

I tried to offer Rollins a small smile but could only wince as pain shot through my face, "Sore, very sore."

Amanda picked up a chair before setting it down next to my hospital bed and sitting down, "Well after the beating you took, sore is to be expected." 

I close my eyes and let my head fall back, letting what happened flow back into my mind. Working the case, getting the tip that Barban was going to be at this warehouse meeting where he wanted to see new talent, him being interested in me and then losing it, the pain for his hits and kicks, his hands wrapping around my neck, and I'm pretty sure I remember Joe coming in but that's when things start to get a little fuzzy.

"Did we catch him?"

Shaking her head, Amanda let out a sigh, "After you were made, we rushed in. Velasco was the first one in there and by the time the rest of us got in there, Barban was unconscious on the floor next to you, and his face took a pretty hard hit. We get you into an ambulance and off to the hospital then we get Barban loaded up and off to the hospital. On the way to the hospital, his bus got ambushed and someone helped him escape. We don't know where he is yet."

"So I look like this for nothing?" 

Amanda chuckles before reaching out and gently squeezing my bandaged hand, "We'll catch him."

I give her a nod before letting out a sigh, a feeling of uneasiness spreads throughout my body. Barban was the worst of the worst and having my cover blown was less than ideal. If he figured out I was a cop then he could figure anything out, he could figure me out. He could figure out where I lived, my family, what precinct I worked in, and who in my life meant something to me. 

Letting my head lull to the right, my gaze lands on Joe who was passed out on the tiny green recliner chair. 

 "He hasn't left since you got here. We've tried to get him to go home, to shower, to eat, to sleep, to take a break but he refuses to leave your side. I have never seen him like this or how he was when you were in the warehouse." 

Before I could say anything, her phone started to ring, "It's Olivia, I'm going to take this outside and tell your doctor that you're awake. You should wake him up." 

My eyes follow her as she leaves the room, quietly shutting the door behind her, before letting my gaze fall back to Joe. 

Slowly, I push myself up into a sitting position and gently move my legs over the side of the bed. Gripping the handrail of the bed and as soon as my feet touched the ground and I was standing, a whimper fell from me causing Joe's eyes to shoot open. 

He was over to me in record time, gently grabbing my forearm, "What're  you doing?"

Swallowing so maybe it wouldn't hurt as bad to talk, "I'm up, so you're up."

Joe tried to guide me back to sit down but I shake my head, "I want to stand for a little." He nods and his eyes take in my face before moving lower, no doubt checking the damage. 

"I'm so sorry, this is all my fault."

I shake my head before tilting it to the side, "This is not your fault Joe."

"If I had been faster to get to you or if we had sent another UC in there with you, none of this would've happened." 

Reaching as high as I could without wincing, I place my hand on his chest, "Joe,  he figured me out, this is not your fault."

Leaning down, he gently places his forehead against mine, " When I got in there, he had his hands around your throat and you weren't moving and I couldn't tell if you were breathing. I thought I had lost you." 

"But you didn't." 

                                                                     **********

"Everything is looking good, the swelling has started to go down and will only continue to do so. The bruises will take a while to heal due to how significant they are. You can take your brace off your hand to shower but I want it on as much as possible. Take your pain meds as prescribed. If there are no questions, I will leave your discharge paperwork, leave you to get dressed, and send transportation to help you. Take care of yourself." 

Joe places a bag next to me on the bed before unzipping it, "I brought you some of my clothes because I thought you wouldn't want things rubbing against your bruises." 

I smile up at him, "Thank you."

Reaching into the bag, Joe takes out a pair of sweatpants before kneeling to the ground. Joe gently guides my legs through the leg holes before pulling the pants up to my knees. I grabbed the waistband of the pants while he gently wrapped an arm around my waist to help me stand from the bed. I tied the strings while Joe grabbed a white t-shirt from the bag. 

I take my arms out of the hospital's gown armholes and hold the gown to my gest. Joe tilts his head to the ceiling while I, as quick as I could, maneuver the shirt on. "You can look now." 

Joe shoots me a smile before going to open the door so the transportation guy can wheel the wheelchair in. Walking back over to me, Joe grabs my hands to help me sit in the chair, "By the way, you're staying with me until we catch Barban."

I went to argue but the look on his face told me that there was no way he was going to budge so I simply nodded.

"I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

[kaleldobrev]

I Finally Get It

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader

Summary: Dean thinks he looks like a character from one of your favorite slasher films. You on the other hand...don't see the resemblance.

Original Prompt: Requested by @flory-alexandra | Hi, can you do something similar to -Spitting image-, but with Jensen's character from My Bloody Valentine

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: Cursing (2x), Fluff, Dean & reader acting like children, Jealous Dean & reader

Authors Note: Okay, despite the fact that I absolutely loved both prompts, I decided to go with the My Bloody Valentine one because I don't think that movie gets as much love as it deserves as a slasher film (okay maybe I'm bias, but Jensen did great in that film!!). Plus, Halloween is coming up in like a month and this is right around the time I start watching my horror movies and My Bloody Valentine is on my list to watch every single year | If you liked this, don’t forget to like & reblog. I really appreciate it! Feedback is always welcome ♡

Dean as Soldier Boy version

For as long as you could remember you’ve always loved horror movies. You loved the cheesiness, the bad special effects, the horrible acting — just the camp of it all. Horror movies always brought you a strange sense of comfort and you couldn’t really pinpoint why; not until a couple of years ago anyway. “I like to watch movies where I know the bad guy is going to lose,” which is something that Dean said on a hunt a few years back that really seemed to resonate with you. That strange comfort that you always felt when it came to these movies started to click, make sense. This life — the hunting life, the bad guy losing wasn’t always a guarantee.

Horror movies was one of the initial things besides hunting that you and Dean had bonded over. It started out as going to one of your rooms when an All Saint’s Day marathon was on — lying in bed together binging on pizza, chips, soda, and beer. Then it evolved — evolved into asking one another if they wanted to watch a movie together because one of you couldn’t sleep in the middle of the night. It evolved yet again — evolved into date nights once a week.

Today was the day, it was yours and Dean’s date night. Not only was it date night, but it was your week to pick the movie the two of you were going to watch. When it came to horror movie date night, you and Dean always alternated when it came to picking what movies you were going to watch. Although you enjoyed the movies that he tended to pick during his weeks, he always went with the same couple of movies; such as All Saint’s Day 4: Hatchet Man Lives, All Saint’s Day 5: The Search for David Yaeger or Hell Razer’s II: The Reckoning. Although you loved all three movies (thankfully you were able to convince him to no longer pick Hell Razer’s II — and for obvious reasons when you two started dating), you wished he picked something different; and that’s why you always cherished the weeks you had gotten to pick, as you rarely picked the same two or three movies.

As you were in the kitchen preparing some of the food for date night, Dean walked in with a few grocery bags in hand and placed them onto the counter that you were prepping food on. Looking up at him, he gave you the biggest grin as he watched you chopping up food on the cutting board. “Smells good Sweetheart. Whatcha making?”

You continued to chop away, your movements with the knife getting a tad faster. “I found this recipe on Pinterest that I wanted to try. It’s like this horror themed soup dish.” You said, bringing the vegetables you just cut up and placed them into the pot behind you.

“What’s in it?” He asked as he started taking out the beer he had just gotten from the grocery store out of the grocery bags.

“Lots of vegetables,” you began, Dean’s face scrunching in slight disgust, “and of course meat.” His face relaxed. “Vegetables won’t kill you Dean. It wouldn’t kill you to eat some once in a while.”

“I’m a warrior Y/N. Warrior’s don’t eat vegetables.” He said, and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes.

“You know who else won’t eat their vegetables Dean?” You began. “Toddlers. Are you a toddler Dean?” As he opened up his mouth to speak you cut him off. “Don’t answer that.”

“So, what movie did you pick for us to watch tonight?” He asked, opening up another grocery bag — but this time it was filled with snacks.

“My Bloody Valentine,” you smiled as you started working on the meat portion of the soup.

“Which one? The eighties version or the newer version?” He asked, taking a seat on the bar stool in front of where you were currently working.

“You know which one.” You smirked.

Dean let out a small chuckle. “The newer one.” He clicked his tongue, taking a beer and opening it. “It’s cause you think that the main guy is hot.” He grinned. “Might have to ban us from watching that one like how you banned me from watching Hell Razer’s II.”

You eyed him, giving him a look. “To be fair, I never slept with the actor who plays Tom.” Dean audibly gulped at your comment, and his face dropped.

“Okay fair enough.” He said taking a sip of his beer.

Once finishing up the soup you made for the both of you, you placed it on a tray along with some garlic bread, and other assorted snacks and made your way to Dean and yours shared bedroom; something that you still couldn’t believe was actually a thing. Sharing a bedroom with him wasn’t relatively new — you’ve been sharing it with him for the past couple of months, but it still seemed so odd to you; because for a majority of the time you had been living at the Bunker, you had your own room.

Walking into the bedroom Dean was already under the covers and had a beer on both side tables: one for him and one for you. As soon as you walked in, you shut the door behind you and he looked away from the television, giving you the biggest smile. “Let me help you with that Sweetheart,” he said getting up from underneath the covers.

“I got it don’t worry.” You said as he made his way toward you.

Placing his hands on the tray he said, “I insist,” and he smiled a reassuring kind of smile.

“Okay, if you insist.” You said, removing your own hands from the tray so it was only him holding it. Before he walked away he leaned in and gave you a quick peck, almost forgetting that there was a tray of hot food between the two of you that was easily spillable.

“So I already have the movie set up on the title screen, and I’m already tired of seeing that Tom guy’s face.” Dean said, placing the tray of food down on the bed before getting underneath the covers.

“Is that jealousy I hear in your voice Dean?” You asked, smirking as you got under the covers yourself. He looked at you with a defensive look.

“Me? Jealous? Pfft. Please.” He said, his voice radiating jealousy. “That Tom guy has nothing on me.”

“Right. Totally not jealous.” You said, slightly sarcastic. “I’m gonna press play now.”

“Fire away.” His tone still jealous.

As the two of you were watching the movie, Dean couldn’t help but notice how happy you were to be watching it. Every so often when he looked over at you, your face was just radiating this type of joy — similarly to the way you would look at him; that’s when it started to hit him. He turned to you, and your eyes were completely glued to the screen. “You really love this movie don’t you?” He asked, this tone slightly curious.

You turned to look at him briefly, keeping that same kind of joyful smile on your face. “I really do. I don’t really know why. I mean, I like the eighties version too but…I don’t know. There’s just something I like more about this version for some reason.” You said, refocusing your attention back to the screen.

“You know, I think I might have a theory.” Dean said, and you turned back to him, curious about what he had to say.

“And what’s your theory?” You asked before taking the remote and pausing the movie.

"The main guy,” Dean began, pointing to the screen — thankfully you had paused at a part where there was a clear view of the main guy’s Tom’s face. “He looks exactly like me.” You looked at him with pure confusion. “What? You don’t think so?” Dean asked.

“I mean…” You sighed a little before doing a double take between looking at Dean and looking at the screen. “I don’t really see it.” You stated.

“You don’t…you don’t see it?” He asked, sounding as if he was a little disappointed. “I mean,” that’s when Dean got up from under the covers, almost knocking the tray completely over in the process and walked over to the television screen, “look. Look with your eyes.” Dean stood there, trying his best to create the same exact angle as Tom was in in the movie.

“Look with my eyes…what else would I be looking with?” you mumbled, slightly mocking his tone before rolling your eyes. “Okay, okay.” Getting up from the bed you walked over and stood barely a foot away from Dean and the television as you eyed them both, squinting every once in a while trying to see the resemblance. “I’m sorry babe. I don’t see it.”

Dean let out a frustrated groan. “Are you even looking?” He asked, his hands gesturing between himself and Tom. “We look exactly the same.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose closing your eyes for a moment. “Of course I’m fucking looking.” You said, clearly sounding frustrated. You looked up at him again. “I’m sorry babe, I’m just not seeing it.”

“How? You’re usually good at the whole similarities thing.” He said. “Like, like how we can basically watch anything and you can tell me how this random obscure actor was in this one thing you watched like 10 years ago.”

“Dean, as much as I love the compliment, that’s something completely different.” You told him. “Besides, I don’t think I’ve even seen this guy in any other than this. He’s…he’s kind of an obscure actor. Not really popular.”

Dean took a deep breath. As much as he had wanted to continue, to continue trying to convince you how much he did look like this guy, he decided to drop it…at least for now. “Fine.” He simply said.

“Fine?” You questioned. “Huh. Thought you’d have more fight than that hon.”

As soon as you said those words, you knew you had poked the bear. “I was going to drop it. Not now!” Dean said, his voice practically animated sounding.

You looked at him with pure confusion on your face. “Dean?”

“I know how we can settle this!” He said, pointing his finger at you.

“No.” You said.

He cocked a brow. “No?”

“You heard me,” you said, pointing your finger at him now. “No.”

“What do you mean no?” He asked, he sounded confused at your response.

“We aren’t getting Sammy involved.” You said, crossing your arms. You couldn’t believe you were having this ‘argument’ or ‘debate’ with him.

“Who said I was getting Sammy involved?” He sounded offended now.

“Whenever we’re arguing or debating, you always want to get Sammy involved as a neutral party.” You said, slightly defensive.

Dean scoffed. “You get him involved just as much as I do!” He almost yelled. You knew he was right. “Ha!” He pointed, like a child who thought that they were winning an argument.

You rolled your eyes. “Can’t believe you called me out like that.” You said, feigning hurt feelings.

“Aw Sweetheart,” he began, making his way toward you. He placed a hand on your cheek and looked down at you, giving you a gentle smile. “I’ll make it up to you.” He said, his voice calm.

“Hmm, and how are you going to do that?” You asked. Your own voice starting to become calm.

“Like this.” He started to lean down inches away from your lips, and you could smell a slight hint of beer on his breath. “As soon as we get this debate of ours settled,” he whispered before booping you on the nose.

You looked at him confused because he’s never done that to you before; you’ve only ever done that to him. “Did you just…boop me?” You asked, your voice matching the confused look.

“I sure did Sweetheart.” He grinned. “No wonder you do it so much, it’s actually kind of fun.”

“Who are you and what have you done with Dean Winchester?” He couldn’t help but laugh at your question.

“Come on Sweetheart, let’s go get Sammy.” He said before he started making his way out the bedroom. “Sammy!” He yelled.

“Dean!” You yelled, practically chasing after him down the hallway. “If I say I agree with you, will you not bother Sam?” You asked. “I kinda just want to get back to date night.”

Dean stopped dead in his tracks, and you almost slammed into him. “Shit.” He mumbled, turning around to look at you. “I’m ruining date night aren’t I?”

His facial expression that was once full of triumph quickly turned into hurt. “No, you’re not ruining date night Dean.” You reassured him. “It’s just…” you sighed. “I’ll tell you what. Let’s ask him tomorrow okay?”

He looked at you and you held out your hand ready to shake his. “Deal.” He said as the two of you shook on the compromise.

Later that night, as the two of you were lying in bed you couldn’t sleep. You couldn’t help but stare at the ceiling, looking at the crack in it that Dean has yet to fix. You let out a sigh and looked over at Dean who was sound asleep, softly snoring away lying on his stomach, his face in your direction.

Your hand instinctively touched his hair, almost pushing it back despite his hair not nearly being long enough to do that. But you did it anyway as you loved playing with his hair — the same way he loved playing with yours (although he would never admit it).

“Love when you do that,” Dean mumbled, his eyes still closed. “Can’t sleep Sweetheart?”

“Not really,” you admitted. “Just…just have a lot on my mind.”

“Want to talk about it?” He asked, his voice still slightly full of sleep.

“It’s just…” you sighed, hating what you were about to say as you were staring at his sleeping face — a face that you’ve examined so many times. “You were right.”

His eyes started to flutter open more, trying to get rid of the sleepiness. “Right about what?” He asked.

“About earlier.” You said; you couldn’t help but look at those green eyes of his, much similar in color to that of the actor who played Tom in the movie. “You…you look like the guy that plays Tom.”

A grin formed on his face at he looked at you. “What changed your mind Sweetheart?” You thought he’d be more excited about your admittance of him being right, but you guessed it was probably because he was still relatively half asleep.

“Just staring at your face.” You said. “God that sounds so freaking creepy.” You let out a small laugh.

“You’re hot, I’ll let it slide.” He joked. “So this means we don’t have to subject Sam to a horror movie tomorrow uh?”

“No. I think he’s safe for another week.” You let out a small laugh.

“Can I ask you something?” Dean was fully awake now.

“Anything.” You smiled, still playing with his hair.

“My theory before.” He said.

“That’s not a question Dean.” You said, he rolled his eyes.

“Was my theory right though? The reason you enjoy it so much is because I look like the guy?” He asked.

“Dean, I didn’t even realize you looked like him until like five minutes ago.” You said, a bit more sass than you had intended to have. “You know, what even brought you to that theory anyway?”

“Now it’s my turn to sound creepy,” he let out a small chuckle before continuing. “I was just staring at your face. The same way you looked at him is the exact same way you look at me.” He explained.

“You somehow made it less creepy.” You scoffed, slightly amused. “You know, I never realized I looked at you a certain way.” You cocked your head a bit to the side. “How do I look at you by the way?”

“Like I’m the hottest person that you’ve ever laid your eyes on.” He winked.

“Now that doesn’t seem right at all.” You teased. “You really do notice the small details uh?”

“Sure do.” He said. “Especially when they come to you.” You couldn’t help but smile softly as this comment. You leaned in and kissed him, the two of you smiling into it.

“I love you,” you whispered, unprompted.

“I love you too Sweetheart,” he said back.

Tag List: @roseblue373 @beansproutmafia @queenie32 @deanwanddamons @missy420-0 @jackles010378 @syrma-sensei @k-slla @flory-alexandra If you'd like to be added to a tag list, let me know!

[nyrasbloodyclover]

hypnotic (kai anderson x reader)

cw: breeding kink, eating disorder (it's really really bad), mommy issues, mentions of suicide, parental abuse, cults, kai is his own warning really, murder, overstimulation

a/n: if you're not into this pleaseeeee leaveeeeee i don't want tumblr to delete my blog again. also you can read this fic on ao3 if you'd like, link is in my pinned post. and if, by any chance, you relate to this i am so sorry.

What I wanted right now, was to get out of my house, go anywhere, just so I could stop listening to constant fighting and screaming from my parents. I couldn't bear it anymore. I had one year until college but it seemed impossible to survive that long. 

"Oh, look who locked herself in her room!" My mother bursted in and a pit started forming in my stomach. I didn't move. "When are you going to start being useful? You're in here all the time, you could start paying rent." 

Now, what was I supposed to say to that? If I told her that the reason I spent all my time in my room was because they wouldn't stop screaming at each other and I would just be their punching bag, she wouldn't listen and the situation would only get worse.

"Or maybe it's time for you to find a job. Now you're just living like a parasite." I stared. My mother was a very complex character. I think she would be capable of pulling Gone Girl on us. She has the mentality. Just saying.

My father on the other hand, he's weak. Or she made him weak. I don't remember the last time he stood up for himself. He's tired, I can see that clearly. I just wish they would get a divorce. It's so draining to wake up everyday and live in fear that your every move is going to be a mistake, something to criticize. 

I don't remember the last time I felt truly at peace, but I could afford myself distractions. That's how I ended up scrolling through Tumblr 12 hours per day and forgetting to eat because the skinny girls I came across were just so pretty. Food was my enemy. We couldn't stand each other. And the guilt simply because of eating was the worst feeling ever.

Empty is pretty. And I wanted to look pretty, so I starved. It was my sport. It still is. The joy of seeing my hipbones and ribs after some time was indescribable. I loved to lay awake at night and touch my bones, feel them as I tried to fall asleep. Of course, there were many times when I just couldn't take it anymore and I binged. I would regret it immediately and restrict even more.

"Alright. I'll find a job." I stared at her with empty eyes. I was dizzy, almost like I got drunk. She exited the room and slammed the doors behing her. I think I'm never going to fully understand her.

I stared at my ceiling, having no energy to move, even though I had unfinished assignments hanging above my head, screaming at me to do them, but I just wanted to sleep. School can wait. I think my red lipstick was smudged, but I had no energy to take it off. My hair was a mess, too. I tried to straighten it but my natural waves were too stubborn. I fell asleep.

A week passed. My life stayed the same except for my new job at the restaurant—The Butchery On Main.

The two sweet women who own it were kind enough to let me work even though they don't employ people under eighteen. I worked mostly after my school, until the closing. I didn't mind since I got to leave the house and get a break from my parents. 

People were nice, I took their orders, served their food. The restuarant was mostly empty during my shifts, but nonetheless it was almost hard, working with food. All those calories around me made me want to puke. And I wasn't much of a puker. I had the urge to binge. It was disgusting. But I wasn't going to throw all my work out of the window just like that. 

I had my diet coke and if I got hungry Ivy said that I could eat whatever I wanted, and I wanted cucumber. With pepper. They had those.

Today, I had much free time so I was just sitting at one of the tables and doing my homework while scrolling through Tumblr and eating freshly peeled cucumber with some seasoning on top. I was thriving. I was almost happy. It seemed impossible.

The door opened. A man walked in. He was dressed in black from head to toe and what stood out the most was his blue hair with grown out roots. He walked like he owned the building and everyone in it. I immediately stood up, while he was pulling out his chair, fixing my uniform. I let him read through the menu for a couple of seconds and then decided to approach.

"What would you like to order?" I smiled. I was nice. I am always nice. Why hasn't he looked at me yet? Why is he ignoring my presence? His head was bowed down until he raised it and I was met with black pools that stared at me, or rather through me. I felt dizzy and it wasn't the diet.

"Surprise me," he cocked his head, "I would love to see what you liberals like to eat the most. Maybe it'll make me change my political views."

"Al..right," I dragged on, "Is that all?"

"Yes," he replied.

"Everything will be done in a minute." I wanted to get away from him, as soon as possible. He was probably some Trump obsessed republican who's most likely to tell me to make him a sandwich. Which I am practically doing right now. But I couldn't deny it - He had a beautiful face. I wouldn't consider him that attractive if it weren't for his dead, piercing eyes that silently commanded you to obey every one of his rules. 

The food was ready. I had a feeling I would fall on my face next time I locked my eyes with his, which wasn't good. I didn't even know his name! Rachel, one of the cooks, handed me the best steak they had, house's special, "Who is it for?"

I didn't dare look at him. "The one with the blue hair. Just please don't stare. He's creeping me out."

Her eyes went wide, "That's Kai Anderson."

I looked at her blandly. The name didn't mean anything to me.

"You seriously need to watch more television."

"I'm fine, thanks. And if he's some menatlly deranged politician, then I'm not really missing out."

All the politics drained me, and don't get me wrong, I loved to be informed, but when I had to argue with someone about basic human rights, I'd rather not know anything.

I walked over to his table, and put the food on it. "I hope you're not vegan. Either way, enjoy your food." I kept my eyes everywhere, just not on him. He was so unsettling. I had to get away.

"I certainly will," he said and I walked away without a second glance. Jesus Christ, his mere presence was intense.

My shift ended in half an hour and that's when the restaurant was supposed to close. Ivy left early because of some family emergency, so she asked me to close and lock everything for her. I changed into my regular clothes—denim skirt and a white button down with my favorite black sweater, docs and a pair of knee socks. I untangled my hair and tried to brush it out with my fingers.

The tables were empty. Well, mostly. So-called Kai Anderson was still here, not even eating, just looking at some papers and flipping them over, for a while now.

I needed some extra balls to approach him and ask him to leave. Why did I accept to be the last one here? I could've been home by now, sleeping or watching a sitcom, but instead I'm stuck in this building with the strangest and the scariest man I've ever met. But then again, If I were home, my mother would be screaming at me. So I guess it's a win? Also I had to thank Kai for occupying my mind and not letting me think about food. I seriously needed to go to bed before I ended up eating something. Or worse- binging. I think I had less than 200 calories today which is a sign that I am slowly approaching danger zone. It isn't a diet anymore. I can't eat normally. I thought I could go back, but I guess my body won't let me. Or was it my mind?

"Miss?" Someone waved before my eyes.

"Yes? Sorry." Kai was standing beside the table that I occupied. 

"Are you closing soon?"

Should I lie? But then again, he isn't stupid. "Yes. Do you want to pay?"

"Oh no. I already did. I just wondered what occupied your mind that much." He had no idea.

"Nothing much. Just tired I guess. Can't seem to balance school and work."

"Ah. You see," he sat across me, "I don't believe you."

"Okay? I didn't try to be persuasive."

He smirked. Dear God, why was he so creepy but so hot at the same time?

"I still want to know what made you zone out for that long." Has he been staring at me the whole time?

"That's creepy. I don't even know you."

"What's that got to do with anything? I just asked you to tell me what's been botherung you. You looked fucking stressed."

"It really doesn't matter." I just wanted him to leave. 

"Wait. Here, I'll give you..." he reached into his  back pocket, "Fifty bucks if you tell me."

My lips curved. Come on, you can't blame me. Extra cash at my age isn't something you just don't accept.

"Ah! I knew it," he smiled, "Come on, doll, speak."

"It isn't anything interesting. My mom is just being a bitch, nothing unusual." I gave him the least I could and snatched the cash from his hand.

"She isn't letting you sleep over at your boyfriend's or something?" He laughed like I had the dumbest reason for not liking my mother.

"Not really. She just...Wants too much, I guess? And I'm not able to give her that." It felt weird saying that out loud. I think I never said it.

He stared at me for a second.

"I want to show you a trick." He put his right hand on the table. "Don't worry. It's something me and my older brother always used to do when we were little."

He reached with his pinky finger over to my hand. We locked fingers like we were making a pinky promise. 

"This is weird. And please hurry. My shift ends in fifteen minutes." 

"We have enough time. Okay, listen. Pinky power. Once the skin contact is made, no lies can be told and whatever we say, stays between us," he narrowed his black eyes, "Trust me, if you lie, I will know. Ready?"

When did I agree to this? Well, fuck it, I'll do it anyway.

"Do you love your family?" He asked, his expression serious.

"Yes." His mouth twitched.

"Do you like your family?"

"Absolutely not." I shook my head.

"Why is that?" 

How do I explain this to him without sounding like a total maniac? "My father is weak, he doesn't know how to stand up for himself. And my mother screams at me for merely existing. Her favorite hobby is emotionally draining me, then pulling my hair or slapping me because she feels like it. She regrets having me. I think she wants me to kill myself. It would be easier to have a dead daughter." My mind went blank. I felt nothing in that moment. Whatever he asked, I was going to tell him.

"Did you ever try to kill yourself?," he asked with a flat voice.

I thought for a second. Should I tell him the whole truth? He said he's going to know if I lie, but that doesn't mean...

"Don't think too much." His eyes went dark while I was literally choking under pressure of his gaze.

"No. I was never suicidal. I like living. But I..." words were stuck in my throat, "I...Sometimes, she would starve me. Saying I didn't deserve it. I had no money to buy something to eat. So I made a game out of it. I developed a disorder. It was the only thing I had some control over. I started it out of spite, but now it's real. It's worse than ever. But I don't want to stop."

His expression never changed. Not once. "Do you hate your mother for that?"

"You have no idea."

"I think I do have some idea about hating one of your parents. So, from experience, I need to ask you one more question."

I nodded. "Have you ever dreamt about killing her?"

I wanted to pull back from him, but his hand wouldn't let me. He pulled me even closer. "We can't break the contact," he gritted through his teeth.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry," I exhaled, "Yes. And no."

"Elaborate." 

The restuarant was silent. I couldn't even hear the sound of cars outside. Lights were practically out. 

"I...I wanted her dead. But I don't think I would be able to do it. I had a," I inhaled, "A fantasy about someone killing her while I watched. It's so fucked up, but I just couldn't help it. It brought me relief that she was gone and someone cared enough to get rid of her for me." 

I was scared to look at him. He was going to call the mental ward and lock me there. I was fucked. Why did I tell him all of that? 

I looked up.

He was smiling. It wasn't a sympathetic smile, or a sad smile, or anything similar to that. He was grinning like a maniac. He released my hand and I realized my eyes were filled with tears. I blinked them away. 

He shook his head with closed eyes, "You're perfect. Perfect."

My voice was low, weak. "What? How could you think that after what I just told you?"

"Don't ask too many questions. I have a solution for you because I know you're destined for greater things. Tell me, do you wish to never be under your mother's thumb again?"

"I mean, yes? That's going to be when I turn eighteen, so I have to be patient."

He laughed. "Oh, no, baby, no. She's never going to let you go. She'll suffocate you until there is nothing left but a shell. No matter the age or what the law says, you'll always be controlled. While she's alive, at least."

"What are you saying?"

"Do you want my help? Do you wish to be finally free?"

This was so fucked up. I never met this man in my life. Why was he offering me help?

"What's in it for you?"

He cocked his head, "I get to keep you by my side."

My mouth was dry. I was scared, but...excited. Thrill rushed down my body as this psychopath was staring at me, offering me a sick escape. I was supposed to say no. I was supposed to save my soul.

"Yes."

"Yes, what?"

"I want your help."

He looked so happy, it made me happy.

"Good. Then, we're leaving now." I was hypnotized by him. I just nodded, not asking where or why, my mother taught me I shouldn't get in the cars with strangers, especially men, but my mother was also the reason for many of my problems. I'll do something that'll piss her off.

I got into Kai's car and shut the door. I was okay with the fact that he might end up killing me.

He said nothing for the most of the ride, but I noticed him glancing over at my skirt that rose up to my thighs. I didn't bother pulling it down. I mean, I wore mini skirts for a reason, right?

I pretended not to notice as I looked at my reflection in the closed window. Hollow cheeks, red lipstick, pale face. I was obsessed. I always wanted to look like a corpse with make up. My face was perfect, lipstick untouched, mascara a little smudged, dark circles under my eyes from sleepless nights. 

"You know you could eat a burger." I looked at him. I almost wanted to hug him. His words made me feel proud, like I achieved something big. And I guess I did.

"Really? Do you know that you're the first person ever to tell me that?" I felt weird happiness in my chest. 

"Well, yeah. Why do you look so surprised? I didn't mean it as a compliment. You have a problem. I'm not even sure it's supposed to be a compliment." He frowned, not taking his eyes off the road.

"It doesn't matter if it's supposed to be a compliment or not. Thank you for saying it." I didn't give two fucks if he thought I was some anorexic lunatic that needed years of therapy. I was happy. And he wasn't my parent or my guardian to tell me what to do.

"Just think about it. What's the point of being so skinny? It's not even attractive."

"The point is in being clean. I don't want to see a pound of fat on my body. It's disgusting. And I am to do with my body as I please. I don't give a fuck if someone likes to eat like a fucking pig because It's not my body, and certainly not my problem." I was so angry. Who the fuck he thought he was?

"Just saying. You look sick. And I mean really, really sick."

"I am aware. Like I'm also aware that I'm fucked in the head. And that's the reason for all of this," I gestured over my figure. 

I could feel his anger. He didn't like that I disagreed with him and stood up for myself, even if I was wrong.

"We're here." He suddenly said, getting out of the car. I followed him into the house I guessed was his. The whole neighborhood was silent. Lights were off everywhere. 

We got into his house and I didn't even got to see it clearly because he practically dragged me into his basement and started changing. He put on a black leather coat while looking for something. His phone? He called someone.

"I'm expecting you'll be here in five? Well don't try to make up excuses. This is a perfect opportunity. I don't care— No, drag yourself and your pathetic wife here." He called two more people and I just stood in the middle of the room staring at him. 

"What's your adress?" Was he really doing that now? "You know what, never mind. I found it." I wasn't going to ask him how. He looked like the person who instead of Instagram browsed dark web. 

"Okay, let's go. They're here." I had to ask him because he said nothing about it. I had to be sure.

"Why are we going to my house?"

Beat. A moment. "To kill your mother, of course."

There were other people with us, but I couldn't see their faces because of the creepy clown masks. Kai had one too. I felt like I was drugged. I didn't know what happened to me. I suppose I had enough. I know Kai is not the answer for my problems, at least not all of them. He's going to get rid of her and then what? No. Stop thinking. 

I listened to my brain this time. It was late. My parents were probably asleep. Probably in separate beds. It's going to be easier for Kai and the others to do the job. They kept their mouths shut and I didn't blame them. I still wasn't sure if I was part of this sick cult or whatever it was. I read enough about them to recognize a cult leader when I see one. 

The car suddenly stopped. We were in front of my house.

"This played out so good, little lamb. I knew you were perfect." Kai's voice was muffled under that mask and his words made my heart flutter. He was so sick. "Don't just stand there, baby. Be a good host. Invite us in. Come on," he gestured with one gloved hand towards my house. I felt everyone's eyes on me as I turned my back and started walking towards the door. What did he mean by this playing out good? Did he plan this before? It certainly did not matter.

We got in, doors creaking, but not enough to wake anyone up. My father was downstairs, in the guestroom, but my Satanic mother was in their bedroom. I went first, up the stairs, one by one, they followed me, Kai first, then the rest of them. 

I showed them the doors. 

Kai got in and they followed him. I shut the door behind me. I felt like I was seeing things through someone else's eyes. I didn't feel guilt and I wasn't regretting my decision. I remember everything through a coat of blur. Knives, a lot of them. They killed her in her sleep. Stabbed her too many times, I lost count. Sheets were soaked with red and the room started smelling like iron too. Kai used her blood to draw some sign on the wall that was facing the bed. It looked like a smiley face, but I wasn't sure. The job was done. I was free. I was free of any charges, since I wasn't home when it happened. I was going to sleep in my bed and wake up in the morning, shocked, petrified, screaming for help, calling the police, my father is going to be terrified too, but relieved. He would never admit it thought. 

We were in the car again. Then in front of Kai's house. "Leave. I want some time alone with our newest member."

"Kai, no. You can't drag her into this. She's just a child—" A feminine voice scorned him under her mask.

"Don't tell me what to do, Winter. Now leave," he raised his voice and I flinched. "We have much to talk about." He took off his mask and smiled knowingly at me. I wasn't scared of him anymore, though I knew I should be. He killed my mother for Christ's sake! 

We went into his basement again. The lights were already on and I watched him as he took off his mask and black coat. His shirt was soaked with my mother's blood. 

"What did you want to talk about?" I cocked my head.

"You were so good. I knew you could do it. Next time, maybe you'll even be the one holding the knife. You didn't even flinch!" He paced through the room and laughed, like he was talking to himself.

"You didn't do this for me, did you?"

He stopped, then looked at me, "I already told you. This played out perfectly. And I've been watching for quite some time now," his eyes darkened "When I found out that the woman who's been talking shit about me over her social media had a daughter, I had to see if she was as bitchy as her mother." Oh, so he did this to save his reputation. Of course.

"And," I swallowed, "Is she?"

He didn't answer me. Instead he marched to the other side of the room and pushed me against the wall, slamming his lips on mine. I was out of breath, not being able to process everything. Oh my god, he was kissing me! This insane, sick in the head, narcissistic, 30-something, psychopath was kissing me and I opened my mouth to him like the whore I was. I wanted him to touch me. No, I needed his blood stained hands on me right now. 

I pulled one of his hands and put it on my chest as his tongue continued to explore my mouth. He took off my sweater and shirt. I was left in a black bra and skirt.

"Aren't you scared of being arrested for fucking a minor?"

"I commited far more monstrous crimes than fucking a seventeen year old and you know it, " he breathed into my mouth. Red lipstick was smudged over his lips. His hand that was on my chest slipped under my skirt and found my panties. 

"You know it," his fingers entered me with ease, "And yet, you're still so fucking wet for me." My mouth fell open as he buried his fingers deeper if that was even possible. I wasn't a virgin, but then again, I've never been with a man. I took my own virginity so that I didn't have to bother. 

"Kai—" I breathed. I needed more.

He sat on one of the chairs beside the circular table and pulled me onto his lap, his thigh between my legs. My clit was aching for some king of friction so I started rubbing myself against the rough fabric of his jeans. 

"Aren't you desperate?" He pushed me on the floor, between his legs, he pulled out his belt and unzipped his pants. His intentions were clear and I was happy to oblige, but I had to touch myself or I'd go insane. I started stroking his already hard dick and rubbing my clit at the same time. 

He noticed. And he wasn't happy about it. "I thought you were going to be patient. But I guess not." He took his belt and with one move he tied my hands behind my back while I was still kneeling in front of him.

"Please, I just need to—"

"Yes, yes, I know, but you have to deserve it. Am I right?"

I nodded hesitantly and he scooped up my hair in his fist and used it to pull my head down. I took him into my mouth as the wetness and ache grew between my legs. 

Kai continued to pull my head down until his tip hit the back of my throat and I gagged. He chuckled.

My eyes teared up as I sucked his dick like my life depended on it.

He grunted and raised his hips, so I knew he was close. And I knew he was going to either come in my mouth or...

He pulled out and finished on my tits, painting my chest with his cum. 

"You were so good," he said with his head tilted back and eyes closed. He let my hair fall down my back and over my face. Kai dressed and got up, then pulled me with him, still tied.

He slammed me on the desk and I was able to just lay there and let him do whatever he wanted to me. Not that I minded.

"I feel like I'm going to break you," he said as he traced my very visible ribs with the tips of his fingers. "Break every bone in your body." 

I could feel my stomach sinking in and his words made me even a bigger mess than I already was. "Do it, please, please," I cried out as my hips rose towards him. 

"Since you asked so nicely...And the skirt stays on. Do you know how much willpower it took me not to bury my hand under your skirt and make you beg for more while we were driving?" He pulled my skirt up and didn't even bother to take off the panties, he just ripped them. He towered over me as I layed on his table, feeling the cool air on my swollen clit. 

Kai's fingers went over my aching pussy and my back arched towards his touch. He did nothing for a split second and then came the first slap. I yelped as the burning spread between my legs, but I didn't tell him to stop. He slapped me even harder and I cried out, most ungodly sounds coming from my mouth.

"Don't worry, you can scream as loud as you'd like."

He slapped my dripping cunt once more and after that I was sure I was going to feel his hands on me days after. He didn't wait for me to recover from his brutality, instead he buried two fingers inside me and started scissoring, wanting to spread me even wider. I threw my head back as he added one more. He buried them knuckle deep inside me and began curling them.

"I feel like you're a big girl. You can take one more." He didn't wait for my agreement. His four fingers were inside, making my pussy burn with pleasure. I wasn't able to form words. He spat on me and started massaging my clit while almost his whole hand was thrusting in and out of me. I felt pressure deep in my lower stomach and started panting and moaning for him to continue, but he did exactly the opposite. 

My cunt was left empty without his fingers and I could almost cry. I just needed a bit more.

"Don't look so upset. I'm not finished with you." 

Kai untied me and took his belt. He spread my legs as wide as he could and started spanking my pussy with it. I screamed more in pain than surprise, "Kai, no, stop, please stop-"

The pain was unbearable, but it was just enough  for my clit to start pulsing more and that pressure in my belly to grow. I screamed in pain as he continued to hit me with no mercy. I could feel my walls clenching and my back arched as I came undone. Orgasm hit me and I came down from my high, but Kai didn't stop. 

He started rubbing my abused cunt, overstimulating it. He was deaf to my begging and crying. It was too much. There was no pleasure anymore, just pure pain, but he continued to massage it and after a couple of minutes I was shaking with another orgasm. I knew I was too sensitive, but when I tried to close my legs, he stopped me. Then I noticed his rock hard dick under his jeans and my heart dropped. I was going to pass out. He was going to use me, not caring for my pleasure anymore.

"Just hold still a little more, doll." He pulled his dick out and slammed himself inside me, making my eyes roll to the back of my head. Everything hurt, but he didn't care. His thrusts were fast and rough, I couldn't keep up. I could feel his orgasm building and he had no intention of pulling out. Kai continued to slam into me until he reached his peak. He filled me with his seed and when he finally pulled out I could feel it dripping from my pussy.

Kai helped me get up and as he was untying his belt, his hot breath was on my neck. "Welcome to the cult, baby."

[mrhaitch]

Hey Mr. Haitch,

What do you do when you are sad?

I don't know if I've talked about this before, but I come from a family with a long history of poor mental health, along with conditions like autism and ADHD. I've had distinct episodes of very poor mental health - particularly my late teens, early adulthood and then the first few years of my kids' lives, during which I was medicated.

Diagnoses were batted around for a while (depression, generalised anxiety, bipolar depression, one long conversation where they were wondering aloud about schizoaffective disorder), and I've only recently gone cold turkey from the meds and my wellbeing has improved hugely. Not that I'm advocating for people to avoid medication - if you need it, take it - but in my case I was worsening over time.

I'm saying this to make a general point that when I experience a low mood it might be for a few hours or days and weeks, often without any particular trigger - I just become low and nonverbal and distant. Often I come out of it on my own accord. I have some very bright days and weeks, but I'll eventually subside into some kind of slump, oscillating between the two until I find some kind of level like a pendulum winding down.

I've got a kitbag of coping mechanisms when I get low:

1) I make sure I eat, and eat the things that bring me joy. Not just takeout or ready meals: I make sure I cook something.

2) Prioritise sleep and rest but within reasonable boundaries (get out of bed at a reasonable time)

3) Get out of the house at least once a day, even if it's to go to the shops.

4) Revisit media that brings me joy: favourite games, films, TV shows.

5) Break whatever cycle I'm in.

For that last one, what I mean is that when I'm low I lapse into a kind of holding pattern. My actions will become repetitive, and I'm highly prone to boredom which tends to make things worse. As such I'll surprise myself with random choices and changes: if I've been inactive I'll force myself to take a long walk, maybe 5 miles. If I've been busy and active I'll force myself to be sedentary. If I've been binge watching something and it's not doing anything for me, I'll pick up a book, or doodle, or play my guitar.

Whatever rut you're in now, do something different. Pick something outside of that pattern, even if it's getting up and sitting in a different chair (I know this is weird, but it works for me). Or if insomnia strikes, switch to the other end of the bed.

One thing I have to stop myself from doing is trying to figure out why I'm upset, because half the time there is no real root cause or reason and, given enough time, I'll invent one. I have to tell myself that I'm just feeling sad or low for no clear reason, and it will pass. When it does pass I focus on building myself up: I use my good periods to take care of my health, to create new projects, to build up momentum. Doing these things, I find, leaves me more resilient when the shit days strike.

This is all very particular to me and my circumstances, but hopefully it might give people a few ideas. I hope you're not struggling at the moment, but if you are I hope this gives some light at the end of the tunnel.

[lilacsbeeswax]

happy birthday to your account!! for your writing event, can I please have Lilies 🌺 with work song by hozier and sirius black? thank you🖤

Work Song

Part of my 2 year milestone event!

MASTERLIST

——-

Boys, workin' on empty

Is that the kinda way to face the burning heat?

I just think about my baby

I'm so full of love I could barely eat

Work, work, and work Sirius swore these days it’s all that he did. Back when his dream of running his own tattoo shop was nothing but that he had had no idea what it would entail.

For the past week, he had been clogged with appointments. So many people had wanted custom tattoos, so he was drawing constantly. Then, it came to actually doing the pre booked tattoos which could take hours. As well as, walk ins that paid well, but took just as much time. Even when sharing the work load with James it was hard. Remus was out on vacation meaning Sirius had to take over bookkeeping and running the business. He swore he’d never have to do math, but there he was doing basic algebra at 8 am.

In short, Sirius was absolutely swamped. He had even been sleeping (albeit only a few hours) at the shop. His overfull mind only becoming more painful in the hours away from her.

Her. His only paradise. His pretty baby. The only girl for him.

He got small tastes of Y/n throughout the day, but it didn’t satiate his desire for her. Everyday at 11:30 am, she would bring him lunch during her break at her own job. She could be doing anything else, but she wanted to spend her rest time on him. Sirius loved it so much he felt sick. Often, he would be thinking about her so much that he wouldn’t be able to eat. He was unable to stomach the sweetness that he felt he never deserved.

There's nothing sweeter than my baby

I'd never want once from the cherry tree

'Cause my baby's sweet as can be

She give me toothaches just from kissin' me

Sirius walked into the apartment on Saturday night exhausted. Y/n called out to him, “Siri? Is that you?”

He didn’t respond quietly slipping off his shoes and coat. She turned the corner, running up to him and nearly sliding on the laminate floor. She wrapped her arms around him, placing her forehead on his.

“Hey baby,” Sirius sighed. “I missed you.”

She leaned away and smiled at him. That sweet smile that made him feel like he was going to faint. “I missed you more!”

Sirius moved to brush a thumb against her lips relishing in everything about her, before his gently pulled her into a kiss. It was soft and sweet and if he didn’t know better, Sirius would suspect he was going into cardiac arrest.

Boys, when my baby found me

I was three days on a drunken sin

I woke with her walls around me

Nothin' in her room but an empty crib

And I was burnin' up a fever

I didn't care much how long I lived

But I swear I thought I dreamed her

She never asked me once about the wrong I did

Y/n and Sirius had met many years ago, back when he was a self-described man whore and carried way too much trauma to hold on his own.

He had been a mess. Drinking constantly, using, and not being able to hold a stable job. Despite all of his problems, she had pulled him up and out of it.

Sirius had lost yet another job the day he had started that fateful drunken binge. Maybe, it was the cheap vodka or the combination of it and the weed, but he had called her.

When she arrived at his place after a very concerning phone call, you had found him on the floor half dead. From then on she never stopped taking care of him. She never asked what really happened.

My babe would never fret none

About what my hands and my body done

If the Lord don't forgive me

I'd still have my baby and my babe would have me

When I was kissing on my baby

And she put her love down soft and sweet

In the low lamplight I was free

Heaven and hell were words to me

Y/n and Sirius got ready for bed and laid down on their soft shared mattress for the first time in what felt like weeks.

She ran her fingers over his scarred up arms and chest. She kissed his lips, while caressing the marred skin. Sirius pulled away and kissed down her neck, nipping at all of the places he knew she liked. Out of the corner of his eye he could see her smiling under the dim lamp light.

“Fucking hell, you’re heaven.” He chuckled, saying a word between every soft peck of her neck.

“I could say the same about you, Siri.” She giggled, pulling him close to her, not planning on letting go anytime soon.

When my time comes around

Lay me gently in the cold, dark earth

No grave can hold my body down

I'll crawl home to her

Lying there wrapped around the love of his life, Sirius couldn’t help but smile, knowing no one and nothing could take him away from his baby.

MASTERLIST

[celestialprincesse]

YES!! YEY!!

so yk how like nerd!readers usually have collections? yes, collections. i have obsessions over a lot of things. im a "nerd" for dinos, coffee, dark romance books, cats, bla bla. yes. im a handful. hah.

then how they usually dont sleep. how I usually dont sleep lmao. then he comes home to reader studying or completing work, thesis, reports you name it. or maybe back to reader just waiting for him with those almost dead,baggy eyes. like "oh hey, fuck im sleepy". oh my ive been there. had my friend coming over and she saw me flopped on the floor, papers everywhere, highlighter in mouth while my empty coffee mug had crunched papers haha. also, 3 days of thesis(s)

then reader binges a lot. on books, series, documentaries, anything that keeps them away from being loneliness. i love crime and history oh hell yes. usually watch them war docus haha. then the crime ones are addicting. or for fun, id watch cooking shows, thanks to that habit, im a pro chef (lol) im an ambivert, thus, yes i can socialise. i had my housemate come with me shopping. she's a pilot so she's rarely home. she followed me to the mall, nearby cafe's, some local shops and i was saying high to all the shopkeepers. she was like, "you know everyone?" "yep, get pretty lonely :D" yea..i could imagine Simon just watching in confusion haha. i have..adopted 2 cats to keep me entertained...sorry Simon :D

hehe, i have more but this is all for now love! <333 i wanna know how it is on your side :DD

Honestly, it's pretty much the same for me. I'm big on collecting things too, mostly books and jewellery and the occasional kitschy antique I stumble upon at my local thrift. I also sleep a lot (but always at weird times) because my brain keeps me up at night whirring about the most random nonsensical things.

I like to think that Simon sort of takes charge of he and nerdy!readers relationship when they're working on a big research project because they just entirely forget how to function. I'm talking hoisting them over his shoulder to get to bed, plugging in their laptop so it's fully charged in the morning. He asks them questions about their interests just so that he gets the opportunity to shove a granola bar or some berries into their open mouth, otherwise they'll get so focussed they forget to eat. He'll drag them to the gym or on a walk with him just so that they can get some fresh air and exercise, because sitting at a desk for all hours of the day for weeks isn't healthy, despite how much they try and convince him it is.

Honestly? I also think that Simon would be super pro his partner getting a pet. He's down to do basically anything that will give them a break from freaking out over their studies, and he'd really like them to have some company when he's away on deployment, so at least if they don't leave the house, they won't be entirely alone.

[russellsppttemplates]

Monza Surprise (Daniel Ricciardo)

Daniel's wife goes into labour while he is racing for a race win in Monza

Note: english is not my first language. I hope I did a good job for my first Daniel request!

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated  and I'm not taking requests, but I am writing some blurbs when I can (usually at nighttime when I can) so if you have any ideas or concepts that can be written in a small amount of sentences and you want to share, feel free to do so!

Tw: pregnancy (tiredness, body aches, trouble sleeping), childbirth 

“Are you sure it’s a good idea for you to come to the race?”, your husband said as he rubbed your bump with one of the many pots of oil you had been given by friends and family on the baby shower, the routine now well settled everytime he was at home for nighttime, “Daniel, I’m fine, doctor said that if I take it easy I’ll be able to go and, besides, your parents will be there too. Trust your mother to tell me to rest, and sit down, and drink water, and eat some more”, you chuckled, remembering one of her last visits where you could definitely see where her son’s caring (and overprotective) nature came from, “Just looking out for you and little bug”, he said as he kissed over your bellybutton. 

The Italian Sun was shining on the Sunday your husband was on the front line of the grid, the whole family sitting at the hospitality and enjoying some lunch, “Don’t you want to go and take a nap in my room, my love? Little big kept you up pretty much all night”, Daniel offered as he recalled last night where you had to move to the sofa in the hotel room as you couldn’t sleep and kept moving around in the bed, choosing to let your husband get his very much needed rest before his race while you binge watched some comedy shows on the TV, “I’m good, surprinsingly not that tired. And we’re both very excited to see daddy on the frontline, maybe even get a win today”, you wiggled your brows, “A podium for sure”, he smiled as he rubbed your bump. “Mum, keep an eye on her, will you?”, you heard your husband say as he put his balaclava on, pressing a kiss to your lips before adjusting it so it was covering most of his face, "Daddy loves and mama so much, little bug", he said before he was urged to get in his car so it could get on the grid.

Getting up with their help, "I feel fine so I guess we still have some time to wait", you said before you felt a pressure, assuming it was a contraction and counting the seconds, "that was awfully long, dear, I think we should go to the hospital", Grace said as she looked for Michael, who had already been looking at the scene and had a bottle of water and juice in his hand, "thought you just needed some sugar but turns out it's something else", he smiled, "want me to tell Daniel?". Your wide eyes spoke for themselves, "absolutely not, you'll tell him after he's done, and after he's done with his celebrations", feeling confident in today's race, "if you tell him I swear you'll never see the light of day", you had threatened as you felt another surge of pressure, "we're going to the hospital", you breathed, "and we'll see how it goes. It's probably going to take a while so just tell him once he notices I'm not here, okay?", you said as you waddled with your parents in law to the car.

Checking into the hospital, you were lucky to find that the team were fluent in English and were able to speak to you in a clear way, as well as the other way around, "my dear, just lay down while we got your vitals in", one of the nurses said as you looked at Grace, "Joe was incredibly calm driving here for someone who is not from here and is driving someone to the hospital", you chuckled as you noticed the TV in the room, grabbing the remote and tuning it to see the race, the screen displaying "yellow flag", as your heart rate increased until they panned out to Lewis' and Max's cars, "My goodness, are they okay?", you whispered as the nurse chuckled, "if you keep watching it like that, we'll have to turn it off, you're a bit worried about as I see", she giggled as her senior entered in, "sorry, I forgot to ask. Are we expecting the father to arrive?", she asked you, "the father is currently racing there and nearly giving me a heart thing", you pointed to the TV, "Oh, I knew I recognised your face. You're Daniel's wife, right? If he wins, it will be even sweeter!".

"He's leading, and Lando is second too!", you cheered your best as you bounced on a ball, allowed to be in it as the nurse figured you'd be entertained and able to get out all of the adrenaline, stopping the cheers when a contraction came and you needed to pay attention to your body, "He's doing really well", Joe said as Grace nodded, "Daddy is doing really well, little bug, hopefully you're being good today too and not knackering my body too much!", you chuckled. The race finished as your husband was the first driver to see the red flag, hearing how happy he was over his radio and seeing him doing all the interviews before you saw him heading for a McLaren employee, his eyes nearly coming out of their sockets by whatever reply they gave him, "Do you think he found out that we are here just there?", Grace chuckled before Michael texted you, "he already knows, wanted to know where the three of you were because he hadn't seen you with the rest of the team", and you nodded, "seems like he did", you mumbled as you watched his expression unfold. The podium announcement and celebrations came quickly and you were now bent over the side of the bed, arms supporting yourself as you moved your hips from side to side in order to relieve the pain, "I'm going to do a shoey and then I'm heading out because my wife is in labour! We'll celebrate it later, okay?", he said to the entirety of the fans at the track as well as the people at home, "so much for "keeping it on the down low", Daniel", Joe joked as he handed you the ice chips you asked for, hearing a phone ring before you mother in law stood by your side again, "he wants to FaceTime, are you okay with it?", she asked before you nodded, "Hi honey, congrats on your win!", she said to her son, "where's Y/N? How is she?", Daniel asked with a worried tone, "I'm here, and I'm alive", you said as Grace propped her phone up so you could see eachother, "Hello, my love. Are you good then?", he said as he took what looked like his fireproof long sleeve inside a car, "Daniel, are you changing inside the car?" , you asked, "yes, it's nothing you haven't seen before, given the position you are in, and Michael has seen too, no need to get jealous", he winked, "we're heading to the hospital right now", he smiled, "Mum, what did the doctor say?", he said as he put a t-shirt on, "she's 6 cm dilated, she's progressing very well, no issues so far. She's taking it like a champ", Grace said, "Congratulations on your win, handsome", you whispered as you felt another contraction, "I wishing could be with you, GPS says we're ten minutes away, okay, my love?", he said worriedly, making you nod before Grace told him the room you were staying in so he could ask at the front desk.

Like he promised, 15 minutes later, your husband arrived in the room, knocking impatiently before he was allowed in, greeting the team as he went straight to you, now lying sideways on the bed in a position that allowed the best comfort, "hi", you said as you puckered your lips for a kiss before the nurse discarded her gloves, "there can only be one person in the room for the delivery and that will happen any moment now", she explained as Grace and Joe got up, "thank you so much", you said as your mother in law came to kiss the top of your head, not caring how sweaty it was, "always, darling", she said before Joe winked at you and the nurse ushered them outside before the midwife came in along with the rest of the team, "Let's have this baby, shall we?", and you looked at Daniel, "Let's have this baby", before you pushed when your body told you too, Daniel supporting your back as he whispered encouraging words, "you're so strong, my love, you can do it. There's no one else in the world that is going to be the best mummy for this little girl and she's going to be so proud of you, just like I am now", he said and you got to the final push. Sitting back against the pillows, the nurses lifted the little girl and after a few taps on her cheek, she let out a high pitch scream both you and Daniel would remember for the rest of your lives, "she's here, Y/N, congratulations mummy and daddy", the midwife said as she placed the baby on your chest. You couldn't believe it, she was finally here. A head full of hair, chubby cheeks and eyes wide open just taking in the world around her, the commotion on the room already endearing her. You briefly looked at Daniel and, like you, tears were running down his face as he kept caressing your shoulders and whispering a chain of praise and "thank you" on your ear. "She's here, Sophia is here", and saying it out loud sounded even crazier. From dating back to when you were attending university and Daniel travelling nearly every weekend for most of the year, contracts and deals on and off, moving in together and getting married, and now holding the beautiful life your love created, you still couldn't believe it. "Now we're gonna need to take little one to check everything while you deliver the placenta, okay?", one of the nurses said and you extended your arms so she could grab her. Daniel moved so he could be both close to you while keeping and eye on his daughter, looking over to the nurses' station as they measured and weighed her before he looked down to you, "Thank you for gifting me the most important person of my life, my love, she's the best thing. Ever.", he said with loving (and still a bit teary) eyes grabbing your hand in his and kissing them before touching your forehead lovingly, "I love you so much. Thank you for managing to get here", you whispered and you kissed his hand that was caressing your cheek, "the win is even sweeter today", he said as he kissed you again, the nurse that said the same earlier smiling.

After delivering the placenta and having your baby girl back in your chest, Daniel couldn't stop the overwhelming surge of feeling in his chest. He was so happy and grateful for you, for the life he's had so far and the life he had yet to have and fill with memories with his family. You were already in your room with the nurse helping you feed Sophia when Daniel announced that his parents were outside the room and eager to meet their granddaughter, “I can tell them to come back later if you want”, he said, not wanting to impose anything, “bring them in, they helped me so much after all. And it’s their little baby girl, aren’t you little bug?”, you cooed at your daughter as she finished her milk, moving to cover yourself back up before burping her with the nurse’s help, just in time for them to get inside the room, "Here's our little babygirl, hello", they said as they peaked for her face, her cheeks nuzzled in the blankets, "so far she likes being al wrapped up", you giggled before offering her for your husband to hold her, "she hasn't had a proper cuddle with daddy yet", you said and Daniel was a natural, sitting next to you before ensuring you weren't in any pain and craddling her I'm his arms, "Hi, baby girl, look at you, you look so much like your mummy", he commented before he heard sniffles from his mum, "my baby has a baby of his own, leave me be", she said as she watched her son roll his eyes, feeling her husband rub her back.

They stayed for a bit before retiring back to rest in the hotel, leaving you and Daniel with Sophia, "you should rest, my love, I'll wake you up if she gets hungry", Daniel offered as he sat on the lounge chair shirtless after he had a proper shower and got clean clothes from Michael (who had been and angel and brought you a massive pasta dish from the restaurant you had dinner in the might before), your daughter doing some skin to skin with her daddy, "We'll have some chats, daddy will tell you about his race today, because a lot happened while you were pestering mommy to come out!".

[cauqhtz]

My opinion about Luffy and the world of one piece.

What does Luffy or One Piece in general mean to you?

I'll start! This is completely my opinion and my personal feelings!

I should start off my saying I am a hard person to please. I'm extremely "picky" with every aspect of my life. For example: I hate it when my food touches, even when I'm eating it. I eat it in order. there are exceptions though. I do like for my collard greens and rice to touch but only if I put them together. I still plate them separately.

It's ridiculous and sooo annoying but its a serious thing for me. It's like trying to swallow a pill. I physically cannot force myself to swallow anything that dont fit those standards.

It's like this for every aspect of my life. Books, movies, JOBS, tv shoes, etc..

the first time I tried watching one piece i turned it off maybe not even a minute after watching the first half of the first episode. I remember seeing nami at a party and her looking out to see the whirlpool and I got the wrong idea about what the anime was about so i swore off it.

Maybe a year later I saw a instagram post. It was basically saying how they didnt understand how they found a pirate story about some kid made of rubber kicking everyone's asses entertaining. I was in disbelief and kind of took it as a challenge. It sounded absolutely ridiculous to me at the time so I gave it another shot.

As soon as Luffy popped out of that barrel knocking one of those guys out saying he'd catch a cold for sleeping right there? I was laughing. ME? LAUGHING? To say I was sold would be an understatement.

Then theres the part where Luffy expresses his dream to be king. It wasnt because of some overused reason like very other anime like childhood trauma. It was because he wanted to. Thats it and thats all. I was blown away. My heart raced with excitement after that speech from luffy and I binged watched the episodes from then on.

I was obsessed. (Still obsessed) Back then I was still in highschool and I was binging the episodes from the moment I woke up, during all my classes and lunch, after school and falling asleep to it.

I think the only anime I binged like that would be HXH another anime I'm still obsessed with.

One of the funniest episodes of one piece for me is 497. I was rewatching the marine ford arc and I was in tears laughing at this episode.

But back to the question!

As a young woman of color? Luffy is a dream to me. Luffy is the perfect mixture of malcom x and MLK. He's what I think the world needs. He's one of a damn kind, there is NO character like him or story like one piece PERIOD and there's no amount of hate from naruto fans that'll make that less true.

The only character that is unafraid of crying, laughing, fucking up, tripping up in front of friends and enemies alike.

insanely selfish but he's strong. He can have his friends, hell he can make new friends and have them ALL by his side or far away from him. All alive and fucking thriving, why? because he fucking said so. He's strong in more ways than one. He has that luxury.

He's unafraid of asking for help. He has never once acted as though everyone else is beneath him and he can do everything by himself.

Gets pissed when he finds his vest with flowers sewed into it, wanting to be a manly man but unbothered at eating all the love themed food sanji makes specifically for nami and robin.

He has asked forced Pirate Hunter Zoro to join his crew? Nah thats just zoro his best friend and the guy who ate stomped out sand covered chocolate rice balls out of respect for the little girl he saved from Helmeppo.

Cat burglar nami? Nami the navigator. Her maps and weather skills are unreal!

Sniper king the liar? Yup but he's a damn good sharpshooter.

Black Leg/ Vinsmoke Sanji isnt he apart of a family of comicbook villians? Thats just Sanji! One of the best chefs in the world!

Tony Tony Chopper the raccoon dog that happens to be a doctor? Oh no thats chopper. Our crews miracle treasure. He's a talking reindeer monster.

The demon child is on your crew? Huh? Demon child? You can't mean robin! She's a good friend of mine and she's an archeologist! I'd have to kick your ass if you think otherwise! :D

Cyborg Franky? Oh yeah I couldnt take the sunny without him! They're a package deal!

The humming swordsman? Oh you mean brook! He's a talking, singing afro skeleton not to mention hilarious! The part about him being a sword-swinging musician was just a plus!

The first son of the sea jinbei...A fishman? Hell yeah! He's THE fishman! Jinbei is a good friend of mine and the 10th member I've been looking for!

Luffy's crew is a dumpster fire of diversity. That right there is rare within itself. I mean it's a Japanese show, yet most of the main characters aren't japanese! They originate from a little bit of everywhere across the globe!

They all look different and act different. They are all flawed and yet Luffy accepts them with open fucking arms with his TRADEMARKED grin nearly splitting his face in half!

Speaking of accepting them! Luffy is always overjoyed when reuniting with his crew. Jumping to give them hugs, screaming his hellos, jumping up and down, lunging forward to give them hugs, and waving with excitement at the sight of his friends.

I mean Luffy is unfucking matched. Even his voice is one of a kind and so fucking satisfying for his dialogue??

Two of my favorite quotes from Luffy are:

"I'm kicking your ass and wrecking your birdcage."

"Speak up for yourself, aren't you the leader of these guys? SAY SOMETHING ALREADY!"

Luffy's very name holds mind-melting weight.

I just recently found out that his brother ace was the one that came up with "Gum gum Rocket." Something I'm now pissed at OPLA for giving Garp the credit of.

Luffy as a captain doesnt do major plans or specific orders. He says something and his crew either follows along or finds their own objective for example the punk hazard arc when law asked luffy if he was going to leave his crew on the island to do what they said they wanted to do and leave with him to fight kaido.

Luffy refused saying if his crew was staying to get their own things done then so was he and that Law had to get used to it quick.

Luffy is freedom in physical form. There one second and gone the next. Something that gave Law heart palpitations.

ALSO SCREW YOU LAW FOR TELLING CHOPPER TO SHUT UP WHEN HE TOLD YOU BYE IN WANO!

Luffy has no rhyme or reason for doing things the way he does other than the fact that thats just who he is. Something that only Zoro and Robin TRULY understand. Chopper understood this recently, just before the time-skip.

For example when big mom assumed luffy was there in wano to pick a fight with kaido and luffy denied it sternly.

confusing everyone around him including nami and carrot.

He went onto say everyone not only responsible but associated would be getting their asses kicked.

And thats EXACTLY what happened.

Zoro wasnt even there for that and he was already cutting the majority of their members in half.

MIND YOU. LUFFY AND HIS CREW DIDNT PLAN ANYTHING. NOR WERE THEY AWARE OF THAT PLAN. ALL THEY HAD WERE DISGUISES AND THEIR WITTS.

You'd think that with every plan luffy screws up they'd be major consequences? NOPE bc he's stronger than that. Everyone else would have to adapt or get their asses kicked.

jinbei fought with luffy in the fishman island arc. not wanting luffy to make matters worse, instead wanting him to be seen as a hero to which luffy refused saying he's not a hero and that he had to get to his friends... until jinbei said and i quote. "Luffy, I'll let you have all the meat you want! Just do as I say!"

To which luffy agreed after a few more pleas.

friends and enemies are one in the same to him.

You want to hit him? Fine he doesnt care. but Lie to him? He's about to shove his foot up your ass.

You want to take credit for his wins unless your law or kid? Hell yeah! Couldn't have done it without you!

You want to defend him? Dont bother. This is his business. Stay the hell out of it.

You want to cry? Suck it up! Crying wont fix anything so get the fuck up and do something about it already!

You want to ask him for help? Sure! Anything! As long as you're the right person asking!

You want to call him a hero? Literally might knock your lights out.

You want to put him down in history and tell everyone what he and his crew did? Don't bother he's not interested.

I mean the list goes on and on. I can talk about luffy and one piece for HOURS and never get bored.

Luffy is a dream to me. I tear up thinking about him and wishing to be apart of that world for even a day.

Thats what Luffy means to me.

[weebsinstash]

Not gonna lie if I were the reader after they got replaced by YouTwo I would be a neurotic mess lmao. I already mental issues but I can't imagine going through their trauma on top of everything. I would definitely be scratching myself again out of sheer stress and anxiety about whether or not everybody will replace me again. My arms would look horrible. Oh boy imagine everybody's reaction to realizing they've messed up this badly and absolutely ruined the reader

Other people: fun ways we can write! Coffee shop au! Red string of fate! Hanahaki! Enemies to lovers!

me: what if I sat and tried to seriously and realistically contemplate the ramifications of a severely traumatic experience and the following neurotic habits that arise from the spiral down

Reader gets back to Spider Society, either glitching back in or "being rescued" whatever, and, you're just doing shit like digging food out of the trash "you'd never guess what kinds of perfectly good stuff people throw away, and it saves time to not have to wait for anything to be prepped! Never know when you'll vanish in the middle of a meal or that one serial killer will pop out at you again!! Ahaha!

Someone comes to check on you and you deadass have a fucking, tripwire web trap all around you, you're not even sleeping in a bed you're in your own webbing (because we rock organic webbing here because it fucks) so the second anything like, opens the door of your apartment or comes near you, you're instantly aware. Peter B comes in "heeeey, just wanna check in, make sure you're doing ok--" and there's fucking web wires rattling cans as he opens the front door and suddenly you're wide awake with an actual fucking knife or some kind of equally brutal survivalist weapon and it takes you a few seconds to fully snap out of it and let him calm you down and he has to tell Miguel You Are In Fact Not Doing Ok

You've got real "scaring all your loved ones and everyone around you" energy during those times you're just like going through some manic shit, opening your mouth and going on a sudden 'epiphany' like "i know what would help!! I'm gonna start cutting my face in really visible prominent places and that way you guys will know by the scar who I am :) and when it heals I'll cut myself again :) and again :) maybe I should just cut off a finger, how many of me do you think are missing fingers? Or maybe I could give myself a cool scar!!" And it's just like. What the fuck do they even say to that. A lot of them just genuinely could cry over this, seeing what this did to you. You sound genuinely cheerful at the realization and give no mind to how casually you just suggested self harm out of paranoia and self preservation.

You're just having like hard-core eating disorder issues going from overeating to undereating, binging because you're suffer9ng trauma from starving and then starving yourself "no its fasting, I'm FASTING to save food and money and resources, ok, I can only fit so much in my backpack and--"

You have this backpack from your multiversal glitching travels and keeping it with you basically 24/7 even when you go to the bathroom becomes a comfort habit, because, "never know when your camp has been found by the runners and you've gotta make a break for it" or some other cryptic memory you babble at them like you're discussing coffee when it could be one of the most vile horrifying things they've ever heard

I think the most interesting but tricky thing I've thought of is, what if Reader's trauma-humor coping mechanism gets dialed up to 11 and you can basically never turn it off because, your brain is protecting yourself. It's like you're Doing A Bit but literally all the time like some traumatized method actor and you're just, they're never sure if you're actually telling the truth or actually recounting things you experienced after a while

"Oh man the last time I ate a meal this big was when I finally stopped glitching and I had to break into someone's house and rob them for food! Just call me Santa Claus! But this Earth had suffered a nuclear fallout so all they had was like, DRY CRACKERS and, a lotta canned stuff, icky, and, I was in the middle of trying to pry a tin of lil cocktail weenies open with my teeth when the irradiated house centipedes smelled my blood, just imagine like a normal centipede but, like, the size of a Shetland pony, hey, friendship really IS magic right, and me and these centipedes got SO close, so anyways they smelled my blood, right, and it made them hungry, and--" and here you got like The Entire Squad speechless, Hobies just over here like "fuck, I don't even know what to say to that, you want some ketamine bruv" and yall just hit em with "nah last time I tried ketamine I had a fever dream of being replaced by an evil clone and I was shunned by all my close friends who i thought of like family. Oh wait, that was you guys! That's awkward!"

[uriekukistan]

HI I BRING INTERACTION pls feed me megu headcanons if u feel so inclined,,,,

hii ty for the interaction :D ofc i am always inclined to megu hcs! he's in my brain 25/8...megumi my beloved <333333333

megumi's always been a light sleeper/had a hard time falling asleep. even when he was a baby, he'd be up like 37 times in the night, so toji and mamaguro would take turns pulling all nighters because what's the point of going to sleep when baby megumi is just gonna start crying 10 minutes later...even when he's older, he still wakes up several times in the night. it's too hot, it's too cold, i'm thirsty, the door slammed four apartments down, etc. of course this only gets worse after the detention center because he starts having nightmares :( dw, this opens the door for some cute itafushi moments down the road im writing a fic abt this

he also wakes up reaalllly early because of this, like 5am...that doesn't mean he's a morning person though. he's very grumpy and almost completely unresponsive to anyone trying to talk to him. not that anyone else is really up at 5am with him...maybe yuuji, but he's on the other side of his sleep cycle (hasn't gone to bed yet, was binge watching a new series) and probably equally zombie-like. anyway, megumi is the epitome of "don't talk to me before i've had my coffee." gojo got him a mug that said that once...

megumi didn't eat breakfast (much to tsumiki's chagrin) until he met yuuji, but that's mostly because he doesn't want to waste yuuji's efforts food :)

to add on to that, he has a pretty small appetite, my personal thought is this comes from when he was younger. he and tsumiki struggled to get food between when their money ran out post parental departure and when gojo came into their lives, so he just got used to not eating a lot...but for the same reason he'll never leave food on his plate. lingering fear that he'll wake up with nothing to eat one day (SORRY i had to make it angsty bc that's just Who I Am 💔💔💔)

um. to end it on a lighter note :) if megumi wasn't a sorcerer, he'd work at an animal rescue facility or a no-kill shelter and he's all the dogs' fav employee :))) (ik a lot of people like vet megumi, but i feel like he'd get too sad when he had to put an animal down bc he couldnt save it........). if he wasn't into that, he'd be interested in ecology and habitat preservation for endangered species.

um i was gonna do a Day In the Life of Megumi but the first points got sooo long so uh. stopped after breakfast.

(the way i write abt him all the time and still had to take a while to write this,,,had to separate au megumi from real megumi)

[candied-boys]

Blarf. I've felt so off the last few days.

So here are silly head canons for a few of the princes looking after you

Warning: uh sicky, owie, :(

Gn reader, sfw, comfort and fluff and a little angst because Licht

I can't tell if it's a touch of food poisoning or just my ghost period (thanks to great birth control there's no anemia inducing blood loss anymore - only random cramps and fevers and so on! Hurray?). Maybe it's both. Anyway I feel like garbage so...

Jin - upset tummy

"Feels better, right?" he smiles down tenderly at you as you nod.

Something about his big, warm palm rubbing slow circles across your stomach over and over is oddly soothing. You thought it might make you feel worse since the last thing you wanted was any pressure on your already twisted belly, but it really does seem to be helping.

"My mother always used to do this for me when I'd make myself sick eating too much candy."

Just the thought of how much candy he eats now and how much more he would have had to have eaten to make himself sick as a kid makes you queasy, but you're quickly brought back to comfort by the low timber of his voice as he repeats the same chant his mother once did for him.

"Gentle hands are medicine..." 🎶

*the original in Korean is "mommy's hands are medicine" (엄마손은 약손) so I changed it to match.

Licht - a fever

Injury on the battlefield doesn't phase him, but seeing you bedridden with a fever makes him feel so helpless that he makes himself sick with worry. Even with the doctors assuring him that you'll be fine once the fever breaks and Clavis sourcing the best medicine for you, Licht is still a complete wreck.

He doesn't sleep, eat, or even move from your side. He just sits there next to your bed, changing the cool towel on your forehead every 20 minutes like clockwork, making sure you take your medicine twice a day, and helping you take sips of water each time you wake up. In the moments where you're sleeping and he's left with nothing to do but fret, he sings his mother's lullabies for you.

Your smile when you finally wake up feeling better is enough to make any amount of suffering worth it for him. Even suffering your harsh scolding.

Luke - Headache

It hurts. It hurts so much, but it hurts less and less each time his strong hands knead the knots out of your shoulders.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow!" you whimper and tense when his thumb rolls over a particularly sensitive spot.

"I know, I know," he murmurs and kisses your head. "Ya got so many knots though. I don't think it's just last night ya slept funny. It's gotta be all them books you're carrying around with ya all the time or something. There's no way ya got this tense in one day."

He's not wrong. But you're stubborn and won't let other people carry things for you. And maybe that cross bag you take into town isn't doing you any favours either... And maybe binge reading that new book while hunched up against the bedframe wasn't the best posture... And you should probably be doing those stretches every night but you're just so tired when you fall into bed... And... maybe you're just not 19 anymore......

But maybe it's not weak or selfish to give in to being cared for if it makes the person who loves you happier.

"Thanks, Luke..." you mumble and wince with pain as you tilt your neck to add a little resistance.

"My pleasure," he answers and wraps you in a gentle hug.

I have thoughts for more, but I'm sicky so not today :(

Lovely banner by @/cafekitsune

[thelovelybitten]

more loonatics headcanons / shenanigans...

i've been on such a binge watch of lu that I just need to post abt it okay leave me alone

BUT I'VE NOTICED THINGS !!! (this is s2 ep4) !! you kind of get an insight of what they all like to do and things they enjoy with these bedroom stills.

ACE:

obviously: likes carrots, cute lil bunny.

HIS LIL DOORMAT DJSNGJSDNJK

i couldn't zoom in enough to see what's on his monitor but you know he likes to watch shows before bed. relatable content.

the fact he's got two side tables as well gives me eating in his bed vibes but also he'd be clean abt it. i also think he'd be a big comic book reader. not sure what, but he would be. I'll let y'all decide.

speaking on that, there's a shelf with books on the far right so yeah. i think he'd also read manga bc of his anime complex. he may also keep some sort of CDs ? maybe vinyls ???

i know this man keeps katanas and a dartboard in his room.

he's a snowboarder !!!! THAT'S SO COOL. he must be a god bc this man is AGILE.

he's got a skyline view PHEWWWWW rich ass mf

also. an aquarium on his right (our left) which is so fun I wonder what kinds of marine life they'd keep!!!

I'm also not sure what the compartment behind his head is for but I think its a closed-off bookshelf or space for his knick-knacks. i also see a fireplace too but idk how logical that is lol

LEXI:

NOW WHY SHE SLEEPING IN A HAMMOCK WHEN THE GIRLIE COULD HAVE A QUEEN SIZED BED ??? she's quirky like that ig. whatever makes her comfy. (I know she'd upgrade, I just know. just bc she can sleep anywhere doesn't mean she's always comfortable.)

a phone/pager by her bed is so real

THE WALLPAPER IS BEACHY IT'S SO CUTE

she's a SKIIER AND A SURFER. WHAT CAN'T SHE DO. (seasickness who)

cabinet obvi for storage, idk why she'd have anything important in there besides old childhood items it's so high up???

lower shelves are for books and things maybe. or video games.

AND DO YOU SEE THE AQUARIUM ??? THIS CONFIRMS THAT LEXI AND ACE HAVE NEIGHBOURING BEDROOMS AND NO ONE CAN CHANGE MY MIND. there has to be some type of barrier/wall between the two tanks for privacy reasons but I'M DEAD GNFDGNDJKFNJDFNKHK MY BABIES

opposing skyline views so iconic... i know she takes mad insta pictures (or duck takes them) to get good sunset shots

i believe the items on the table are her laptop, a makeup bag andddd maybe a clutch purse? just a guess bc they're so tiny.

laptop makes sense. it'd be hard but she could still try to get an education on the side??? lots of work for a girl but she's a boss like that.

makeup for obvious reasons

clutch purse for nights out

SLAM:

THE WAY I'D BE SO SCARED FOR THAT WEIGHT TO DROP ON MY HEAD. SLAM IS A TROOPER WTF

I remember sumth abt that cylinder thingy on the left but I can't remember what it's for yet. will update when the ep comes.

MANS IS AN INTELLECTUAL !! those are all comic books (like ace, they bond) and language workbooks.

the poster of pizza is SO REAL OF HIM

there's a teeny tiny chute beside his door and I wonder what it's for. maybe it's a scanner? idk

light above his head is also...a choice.

i'd like to think that the things at the end of his bed are air purifiers and that slam has some sort of breathing issue when he goes to sleep. maybe he grinds his jaw or is a mouth breather;;;

computer for gaming tings and other endeavours

A WHOLE ASS TREADMILL YEAH BUDDY U STAY IN SHAPE.

i know this man doesn't have a WHOLE ASS DRUMSTICK IN HIS BED. but makes sense. he totally eats in bed BUT IS MESSY ABT IT. duck and lexi HATE IT IT'S NASTY HAHAH they ask him to switch his sheets and vacuum almost everyday

DUCK:

THIS MAN IS SO CONCEITED I CAN'T Y'ALL.

but like ace, he also has a tv by his bed I know he and lexi would watch romcoms together

K-DRAMAS???? SPECIFICALLY SINGLES INFERNO (only bc s3 just came out, it's on the brain) duck just boasts abt how he's better looking than all of the other males while lexi is very much about the relationships/drama

his little peek-a-boo window behind his head is so cute :"))))

I have no god damn clue what that thing is beside him on the left but I'm sure it's important

but he wears headphones to sleep !!! must need white noise or rain to sleep

control panel for his lights and other digitally controlled shit in his room

THIS MAN HAS SO MANY MAGAZINES AND NEWSPAPER ARTICLES ABOUT HIMSELF AND THE LOONATICS (but only bc he is in them, thank yew) I also think he'd carry a lot of fashion magazines too. things that are in. the second a fad ends he's done w it

I'm assuming this is an arcade game setup, but i think he'd love Mario kart :) him and tech love to battle on this but move it to the main room bc duck thinks tech is cheating bc "the screen is two small".

i know this man would sleep with mf silk sheets and a fleece comforter he's a bougie bitch

computer for obvious reasons

REV:

i had to include all four shots bc he is a sleepwalker/runner LOOK AT HOW CUTE HE IS ;U;

it looks like he sleeps in a casket-like bed (hence, the lid is open top centre) I believe he only has this open when he's awake so idk who forgot to close it. it needs to be closed so that when rev does actually get up and sleepwalks, he's contained. the last thing the loonatics want to wake up to is the house completely trashed bc rev had a dream he was running from something. so casket bed it was.

that's also why. he doesn't sleep with sheets. if he trips and falls oh lord. therefore he wears super warm pjs in the winter to not freeze to death

he's got a ton of books, rightfully so, I think he and tech would share this bookcase because it would have different manuals, blueprints and miscellaneous mechanical guides. robot guides. that too. i also think rev would be that person who re-reads his childhood books over and over again and not get sick of them ever

there is also a treadmill in this room I just know it

a tv as well. idk where, but I hc it's there.

TECH:

thanks for giving me nothing to work with here

I kind looked forward into the ep and there's a smidge of the bedroom in a frame but idk what the other shit could be

but I know his room is very clean. it's SPOTLESS. everything is organized and well put together.

I'm going to ignore the fact he suckles his thumb bc this man is 24 years old BYE

there's a whole bunch of ai robots in there to do anything he wants.

he is also the other loonatic who has their own bathroom. he only got it bc he won the straw draw. well, ace won technically, but gave it to tech bc he was the oldest and would keep it in the best shape. duck still hasn't forgiven him for it.

he shares it with lexi since she's the only lady in the house :) ain't no way she shares with the boys.

the others share the other bathroom. one more gets installed later but the other four are SOL

tech also has a nice walk-in closet

he needs to take melatonin b4 bed bc this man is noctournal

has drones scattered on shelves, ones he's built and ones he's collected from professors and other inventors

AAAAND THAT'S IT. THANKS FOR COMING TO ANOTHER TED TALK LOL I'MMA GO FINISH S2 XOXO

[echos-girlfriend]

Hello!! I've almost never made requests so if I'm doing it wrong please let me know.

I'm about to go binge all your Crosshair fics (because I'm a croswhore now apparently, it's fun) but I also wanted to request maybe prompt 2 from the prompt list for Crosshair/reader? I just think it fits his character so well. If this particular prompt doesn't inspire you though, don't worry about it!

Thank you so much!! I really appreciate it. 💕💛

Hi my lovely! I’m so sorry you had to wait this long! I’ve been struggling with writing and I’m very sorry it’s taken so long but here it is! And I hope you like! 💚💚💚 also I appreciate you reading my Crosshair fics.. he’s the hardest for me to write for so I put a lot of work into his! 🥺🥰

Crosshair & 2

Master list

Warnings: angst, accusations of cheating, hurt, slightly happy ending..

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“Cross.. we need to talk.”

He didn’t say anything and only glanced up from his rifle.. you swore he loved that damn thing more than you.

“I’m serious.. I need to talk to you.”

He huffed and got up. Clearly annoyed, but he nonetheless followed you outside the marauder and away from the other Boys.

You stood there thinking about how you were going to ask him these questions. The moon was the only light around you both. As you gazed at it you felt a drop of water fall down your face.. it was starting to rain.

“What?”

His voice startled you out of your daze. You looked up at him. Your mouth was parted, ready to say words but nothing came out.

“Crosshair.. are you cheating on me?”

He didn’t answer and only sneered at you. Insulted by your question and he turned away. Wondering what would make you feel this way.. and make these accusations.

“Answer me!”

“No.”

You nodded.. trying to think about his response.. it was no. It was what you wanted to hear but..

“Why do you feel this way?”

He looked down at you while he spoke in that gravely voice.

“Because. You’ve been distance.. you haven’t wanted to sleep with me, or eat with me.. nothing. You want nothing to do with me.”

“That isn’t true.”

“Then love me!”

You practically screamed at him. And his eyes widened and he threw the toothpick from his mouth..

“I.. I do love you..”

“Then at least act like you!”

He looked at you with concern this time. His face falling slightly but his eyebrows remained angry.

“What did I do..?”

Your voice was soft and scared. You wanted to know if it was over.. if he was done with you.

He slowly walked to you, his hand slid under your chin and made you look up at him. Your cheeks were stained with salty tears. The rain was now starting to get heavier. Thunder rolling in.

In the softest you had ever heard him speak.. he replied to you.

“You didn’t do anything my sweet.. I..”

He stopped and you could tell he was trying to piece together words.

“I.. fear that.. when I’m at my worst points.. you’ll want someone different. Someone better.. last month.. when We argued.. I was at my lowest.. and I took it out on you.”

You put your hand on his cheek. A lightning streak shined behind his head.. almost perfectly.

“But when I’m at my best.. when we are totally in love.. I.. I know you don’t want anything but me.. and”

He smiled and held your hand to his cheek..

“And that makes me.. so happy Mesh’la..”

You smiled and kissed his nose. Pulling him into a hug.. cradling his head.

“Crosshair.. you’re so silly sometimes..”

-_-_-_-_-

Taglist: @umbramoons @techs-girlfriend @starqueensthings @ilovestarwarsmen725 @dangraccoon @kixs-husband @ughhhhfoff @chrissywakingup

[the-fiction-witch]

I Need Help

Media - The Maze Runner Series AU Character - Newt Couple - Newt X Reader Reader - Y/n Rating - Sweet Word Count - 3252

As I moved restlessly around the house, I meticulously checked and prepared everything. The dining table is spotless and uncluttered, while the fridge is meticulously stocked with carefully prepared meals, each one labelled with its date and cooking instructions. The milk has been properly organized by expiration date and labelled accordingly. Meanwhile, the bottle warmer is already in action, sterilizing the second batch of bottles, with the first batch neatly stored in the cupboard. Additionally, all the pacifiers have been thoroughly cleaned and sterilized. In the pantry, an array of cookies, snacks, and tea is neatly arranged, and the diaper cupboard is fully stocked and organized. Lastly, the teethers are already chilling in the freezer, ready for use.

I. Am. Prepared.

Bing

What the bloody hell was that! I jumped out of my skin leaping halfway across the kitchen, Ohh... just the bottle sanitiser machine. It's finished.

No need to give me a heart attack bottle machine!

I approached the sink, eager to begin the meticulous process of cleaning the baby bottles. First, I lathered my hands thoroughly with gentle, antibacterial soap, ensuring to scrubbed every nook and cranny. After drying my hands with a fresh, sealed dry wipe, I carefully donned a new pair of latex gloves. With deliberate movements, I retrieved the freshly cleaned bottles from the machine and placed them on their designated shelf, ensuring to seal the shelf with hygiene tape. Next, I carefully took the hand-washed and mini dishwasher-treated bottles from the rack, adding them one by one to the sanitizing machine. As I set the machine in motion, I discarded my gloves and once again washed my hands, ensuring every step along the way maintained impeccable hygiene standards.

"Hey Newtie Booty," Y/n giggled as she came down the stairs, in her comfy clothes ready for her long flight, her Y/H/C hair pulled up into a braid,

"Ah! Love!" I jumped, "Don't! I'm full of enough anxiety right now,"

"I can tell," she giggled,

"You can?"

"Newt, you're hyperventilating and you're chewing on your hoodie strings."

"Maybe I am," I sighed forcing it out my mouth, "I'm sorry love I'm just... nervous is all.... this is the first time I've been alone with all four of them. Ever. Since they have been alive." I explained, "I'm freaking out!"

"Newt. You'll be fine babies are more resilient them you give them credit for," She chuckled, "Remember when you couldn't burp Simon for a week becuase you weren't burping him hard enough,"

"I remember," I sighed, "But I felt bad... I didn't want to hit his little back too hard,"

"You are so sweet," she cooed kissing my cheek, "You'll be fine it's just a week."

"Just a week," I nodded already feeling overwhelmed,

"Hey, remember what we talked about? Breaking down your jobs into steps?" She suggested,

I took a deep breath and nodded, "Yeah... just a week. But a week is a whole seven days."

"Hey, hey, break it down." she suggested, "It's seven days. and you're on day one so it's really only six days, five and a half if you could be coming home on Friday,"

"Yeah... I guess that's true," I nodded,

"And really over those five and a half days you only need to break it down into eight feedings a day which is only really four in the morning and four in the afternoon, plus the twelve hours a day they are sleeping so really it either sleep or eat at any one time which if you get them all onto the same sleep and eat schedule it shouldn't be to... Hard." She explained but then she noticed my face, "This isn't helping? is it?"

"It is not love," I admit,

"Sorry Newt,"

"It's fine. It's okay." I gasped,

"You'll be fine," she smiled giving my lips a soft little kiss, "I have complete faith in you Newt,"

"You do?"

"Of course I do," She smiled, "Maybe this is the moment all those paternal instincts the books talk about will kick in, and you'll finally become the amazing super daddy they know you can be,"

I blushed, "I hope so, I love them so much... I just... worry about everything for them."

"I know you do, but do try and have some fun while I'm gone okay?"

"Okay," I nodded, "I'll try, I hope everything is okay."

"I'm sure it's fine, I'd say us all go but seems like more stress, I'll bring you a magnet," she smiled kissing my cheek before she headed to the door,

"Hey," I stop her, "I love you,"

"I love you too," She smiled and we shared a soft sweet kiss, "Have fun,"

"You too," I smiled,

As she prepared to leave, we exchanged one final kiss, savouring the moment before parting ways. She threw her bag into the car and then glanced back at me, blowing a farewell kiss as she reversed out of our driveway. I stood there, watching as her car made its way down the road, turning the corner until it vanished from sight.

And it sunk in... I really am... alone...

And as soon as I had a moment to breathe the crying began.

I rushed upstairs making sure to lock the door and bolting into the nursery where I saw the four sweet little cribs, each I passed to find who was crying.

Robin was fine,

Wren was fine,

Jay was fine,

And so the crying was coming from little Sparrow, so I picked her up in my arms and gave her a sweet kiss or two to soothe her cries, I cooed petting her soft little blonde and Y/H/C hair little sparrow our only girl somehow got a mix of Y/n and I's hair and she had one Y/E/C eye and one brown eye she's my special little sparrow. Robin was a redhead of course part of why we named him it even before we knew about all four of them, and both Wren and Jay both had my dusty blonde. As soon as Sparrow was back to sleep I set her down in her crib again and did my best to speak away but before I could my phone went off for feeding time which woke all of them.

"Oh Bloody hell..." I groaned,

I sat on the rocking chair in the nursery my eyes half-lidded, my breaths slow, the rocking almost sending me to sleep at this rate, Wren against my chest as he finished up his bottle. I was beyond exhausted, but I got them all down for their meal and when I burp Wren and set him to bed they shall all be about the same for sleep with a few minutes of gradual wake-up for the night feed so all four don't wake up at once, which I should be able to manage. I hope. If I can keep them on this routine for the next few days. This is hard normally for me and Y/n to balance all four babies but on my own... I just don't have enough arms with which to cradle babies. Once he finished his bottle I wiped his messy little chin and burped him luckily he burped fairly fast so I kissed him and set him down in his crib.

"Nightie night little ones, sleep tight, don't let those bed bugs bite ya." I cooed giving them each a goodnight kiss before I double-checked the baby monitor, as well as left the nursery door open as I went across the hall and fell onto the bed passing out.

I woke to the sounds that chilled my very core, all four babies crying relentlessly in pain, and bird song. No. No! I couldn't have slept through my alarms!

I grabbed my phone and to my horror, I hadn't plugged it in last night... and it had died!

"Oh no!" I gulped boolting out of bed and into the nursery trying to soothe my poor starving babies! "I'm so so so sorry my little ones, Daddy is so sorry, dadyd didn't mean to miss your feeding, I'm so sorry my loves," I cooed trying not to cry, I felt like such a bad father! They were crying begging for milk their poor little baby tummies must have been so empty!

I quickly gathered them up in their carrier taking them downstairs so I could feed all four in the kitchen as soon as the bottles were warm, but "Oh no! Oh No!" I gasped as in my sleepy haze last night I had forgotten to close the fridge door! and everything inside was bad, surely it couldn't have just- No... no no no the cooker clock is wrong... we, We had a power outage! No! We had a power outage with the fridge doors open! All the milk for the babies was unusable, all the meals for me were soaked and ruined. "I'm so so sorry my little ones, daddy fucked up, daddy made a big mistake! But it's okay. we have emergency formula milk which should be okay just for this week, and I'll do a delivery and get myself some food in for a few days it's okay..."I explained to them as they cry, "We just need your..." I gasped as I turned to the pantry, "Oh no... no... no no no no!" I fell to my knees as the water that had leaked from the defrosting freezer and fridge had leaked all the way across the kitchen to the pantry, every single diaper I had was soaked in water and unusual, and water had gotten in the formula cartons flooding the whole floor with milk. "Oh no... daddy fucked up, daddy really really fucked up!" I gasped trying not to cry as I tried to think of what on earth I could do!

I need to go get food, and milk and formula, and diapers, and I need to take four babies, and they are starving, and crying, and I'm crying cause I feel like a terrible father.

"I... I need help..." I cried,

I called up the group chat for help and explained my situation, I didn't know what else to do or whom else to call. Y/n is a thousand miles away she can't help me.

I tried to do what little I could but soon they arrived, Like three golden angels,

Thomas, Minho and Gally.

"Right. We are here. And we are here to assist!" Minho said, "Where are babies in need of love and affection!"

"Bring me a baby to snuggle!" Thomas begged,

"Baby Wren for you," I told thomas as I handed him over, "Baby Robin for you," I told Minho as I handed him over, keeping Jay and Sparrow in my arms.

"Awww such the cutest little puddling pop" Thomas cooed peppering Wren with all the love and attention possible,"

"I am made of muscles, muscles for baby cuddles!" Minho explained,

"Not so loud Min, Babies. small ears."

"Right," He nodded, "Muscels for baby cuddles," he whispered just as hyped,

"Okay. We have enough formula and diapers to get you through the next forty-eight hours, after that two will do a shopping run while the others play with the babies at the park. Yes, I know you split your shops into two stores becuase of items that's why we go one pair into one while the other pair minds the baby's second store we switch. We also brought you two takeaway pizzas and enough fries to kill a small elephant to keep you going till we can get some groceries in you. I also came prepared with additional towels for the fridge and some new baby bottles that may do in a pinch while others are sanitizing." Gally explained,

"Gally... I could kiss you," I told him,

"You are a married man with four children that makes me uncomfortable,"

"I am sure in this situation Natgalie will understand, but know I would kiss you in spirit."

"Gross. Mouths or butts what is the more pressing issue,"

"Mouths I missed a feeding so they have been crying out and I just feel like the worst father on earth," I cried looking as poor little Jay cried in my arms,

"You are not a bad father Newt. everyone gets overwhelmed. Happens to us all." Minho explained as he took Wren from thomas,

Thomas went to make the bottles up, "Yeah come on man every dad gets one fuck up,"

"None of you are fathers."

"No... but I like to feel I have a very fatherly vibe," Minho said,

"which do you want to give me," Gally asked,

"I'm okay," I nodded,

"Newt. There are four babies. and four of us. we need to share the load." Thomas said as he brought bottles for all four babies,

"Okay, take Jay. He's mad at me anyway," I sighed handing Jay over to Gally and sitting in my chair to feed little sparrow who drank up her bottle so fast, "uhh yeah they missed at least one feeding so... we may need a refill."

"Another round of baby cocktails Thomas!" Minho ordered,

"Coming right up four baby formula cocktails," Thomas said, "can I reuse bottles or-"

"Whatever you need to Tommy," I answered,

I collapsed on the chair as soon as all four babies were in bed, sitting with the guys.

"Have you even slept?" Gally asked,

"No... too many schedules too-" I began,

"Go," Minho demanded,

"I'm fine I'll be-"

"Go Newt," Thomas demanded,

"Don't make us feed, burp, change and read you to bed Newt... cause we will do it," Minho warned,

"Okay, Okay, I'm going," I sighed,

"Not gonna lie that does sound kinda nice," Thomas nodded, but got glares, "Kidding."

"Wake me when the kids-"

"No. Sleep. we will deal with them get some goddamn rest." Gally demanded,

"...fine, just yell me if there-"

"rest!" They all yelled,

"I'm going I swear," I said getting up and heading up to my room but I couldn't check in on them I found Robin squirming so I gave him a quick cuddle in the rocking chair till he was happy, but by then Sparrow was squirming so I gave her a cuddle, but by then Wren was squirming and wanted cuddles, and of course the moment I was finished with him Jay wanted cuddles but I settled him ready for this dance to begin again until just as I set jay down in his crib I was grabbed by my hoodie and pulled from the nursery, rolled along the floor into a blanket like a sushi roll and thrown on my bed, "Guys!"

"Rest," Thomas told me,

"Or else," Minho warned before they shut my door,

"What if I have to pee?!"

"hop to the bathroom!" Gally yelled,

"Can I have my phone?"

"Sleep!" They all yelled,

I smiled as I sat with little Jay on my leg giving him some bounces as we all sat at the table to do some crafting, something to take up time between naps and food, I had Jay, Minho had Sparrow, Gally had Robin and Thomas had Wren all of us sat around the table with some baby safe paint and paper.

"Hum..." Thomas pondered,

"Enlighten us," Gally sighed,

"...If I give Sparrow the pink paint to do her painting... am I being sexist 'cause she's a girl." he said, "Or if I give the boys pink and I don't give Sparrow pink is that also sexist..." he said, "Or If I-"

"Thomas. it's baby paints. don't think too hard about it," Minho sighed,

"Why not just do their favourite colours?" Gally sighed,

"Uhhh they are like three months old... they don't have colour preferences," I told them,

"Ohh... really?" thomas asked,

"Not really, they don't even really have toy preferences yet," I answered,

"They are like tiny not yet people" Minho chuckled,

"They kinda are," I laughed giving Jay a little kiss on the head, "Bu there my tiny not yet people,"

"Adorable," Gally sighed, "Just hand out some paint already thomas,"

I sat holding Jay as I finished up changing him luckily with four pairs of hands things were going fairly smoothly or as smoothly as four men in a house with four babies can go.

"Ohh I think Jay needs changing," Minho called,

"Uhh, I just changed him," I said,

"Well, he stinky,"

"You sure, cause I have Jay Min,"

"Oh... shit. Sorry Wren I thought you were your brother."

"Give Wren here I'll change him," I chuckled,

So Minho brought Wren over and I swapped him with Jay, "Nap?"

"Yes please,"

"The baby,"

"Both. Yeah, Jay needs nap time, Sparrow will be up in a second for her bottle." I explained as I began to change Wren,

"How did you get stuck on the baby changing station?"

"I don't know, I guess it's kinda fair you guys are all helping me, and it's kinda unfair I ask for your unpaid help and make you wipe my own kid's butts. Seems rude."

"Good point, I just like burping,"

"You are good at it,"

"I'm good at feeding!" Thomas called,

"You really are Tommy you get all the formula clumps,"

"The trick... is to shake it like a Polaroid picture," He said as he came in, "Gally is a great nap time supervision... like he should change careers something about how he lays them down they are just out like lights."

"Together we just about make one fully functioning father," I sighed as I tickled Wren's toes and gave him endless kisses,

"Newt. You are a good dad." Minho said,

"I... I don't feel like a good day most days," I answered,

"Everyone messes up."

"I make a lot of mistakes though,"

"Yes, but you have four kids. You got four kids on your first go, no one is prepared for that," Thomas explained, "You are doing a good job though Newt,"

"I don't know I just feel like I'm always messing up,"

"Newt." Gally came through too, "You know these kids better than anyone, you know how they lay, how they feed, how they squirm and burp, and when they get bigger and show more personality we both know you will know them better than they know themselves. You are going to be a great dad Newt, and you are one now."

"You guys think so?"

They all nodded,

"Thank's guys," I smiled,

I settled them all in for their nap giving each a kiss on the head finally feeling like I had the hang of this now the guys had left, giving me some confidence and some faith that I could do this. I checked the baby monitor as I heard the car pull up so I went down and quickly scooped her in my arms,

"Ummmmm I missed you!" she hugged me,

"I missed you too," I cooed, "I love you so so so much,"

"I love you too,"

"How was it?"

"Fine just a mad house, how was things here?"

"Uhhh... well..." I gulped, "Things went to chaos but I got a handle on stuff,"

"Really?"

"Yeah, some big stuff happened that I will go over but nothing I couldn't manage,"

"Aww that's sweet," she smiled, "With help,"

"Yeah... you uhh you know about that?"

"I was watching through the baby monitor feed on my phone,"

"Ah... so you-"

"I know, you had help,"

"They really were a big help but, I think I got a handle on it now. I think... I'm an okay dad, I'm getting there,

"That's perfect Newt," she smiled giving me a soft kiss,

"Ohh and babies made their mommy a little welcome home prezzie," I smiled grabbing the little painting from the fridge,

she took it and began to cry, "Aw, it's a little woodland of hands, our little baby hands,"

"Yeah, Sparrow did the sky, Robin did the leaves, Jay did the tree's and Wren did the ground and they all did a little sign at the bottom for you," I explained,

"It's so beautiful, Thank you," She cried joyfully, "You did such a good job Newt,"

"Thank you love," I smiled,

"You think you could handle two weeks for a girl's trip to Vegas?"

"Hell no," I told her,

"I'm only kidding," she laughs, "You deserve a week off soon."

"I'm happy right here, with my family" I cooed giving her a kiss,

"Alright, come on I wanna give them all kisses goodnight," she smiled heading upstairs.